I only love hIm

Friday, August 31, 2007 ; 12:12 AM?

Baby , i love you so.

CROSS COUNTRY!

yeah!she thought she wouldnt make it to the top hundred or not even the last of hundred.

but she make it =))
her asthma was up.wait till her asthma was gone she stop down.
and she continue her runnings.
thanks to her him.
he is her motivator.
when he run past her .
the thought the the night walking to have their dinner made her wana run even faster.
when coming to thy finishing line,she thought of that too,thinking of how he "mock"
at her by saying her running is equal to the speed that he runs .
made her runand rush even more.
yeah.finally she got a bottle.
and there come she is in the top hundred! =))

Thursday, August 30, 2007 ; 4:17 AM?

Baby , i love you so.

kissing in the rain right after two
dash across the road.looking from shop to shop.
finally i find the thing which i want.
rush back before the clock struck 1/2 of the quarter.
look like a drenched chicken.
car horn.
wadeva
i dun care.
wad most is i feel that it's worth it
no gona matter how ppl look at me.
silly or stupid.drwanched chicken.or even crazy girl
wad matter most is the person who is the most important in my life and i love in this life. is safe and sound.
and then i have no worries.
this little life of mine is nothing.

fever 37.5 degree =))
haleluya~

Wednesday, August 29, 2007 ; 2:06 AM?

Baby , i love you so.

MSG TO SHAGUA.
NOBODY ASK U TO TAKE UP ON SO MANY MEDICINE LARS.
DRINK MORE WATER AND REST WELL LARS.
U SHD CALLED BEN DAN! NOT ME.>.<

Exhusating.i cant keep my eyes wide and open.wads more i somehow cried yst night.and then today.
feverish.seems thay it cant be gone.
and as days goes by it''s higher.dots.
headache too.[[Cum heartpain.yest cum he's still sick]]
uhms,LIT Mr narian go throught the unseen prose.
which was give my mrs choo when he never came.
and i was absent from her class because of my leg
haiis.then i realise that the whole class had pass up
and they told me LONG TIME AGO -_-"
it's GRADED ASSINGMENT. wads more i haven even attempt to any Q yet.
therefore i quickly do for him
thanks to hubby that i know how to write and eleborate when coming to the impression of the certain character. as a result im able to quickly come out a few points for him
and for part B. alright. though im not sure of how to do.but i just tried.
MATH.teacher gona close the bearing chap too.and im still like somewhat in a mist.
gona study myself.yups.gona prepare my revision materials soon.if not im dread.
ENGLISH.gosh.summary draft.headache uhs.
im introuble for that. gona buck up.
uhms.
yeah ! i found my wallet! some good soul return it the cck control station.
all contents are inside.hehes.that's what i called good in return
i once found someone's link card and return to the office too =D
later on,went to meet SACHIU! meet her home.not goning for CO.
cuz im really too too sick.SICKENING.
got to complete my math Q in time.and hand up tomorrow.
uhms.yeah! blur sotong.
i kept sending msg to wrong recient.wad duhhs.
so paiseh.aiays.anyway he get use to it lers.
next time will check twice again and again before i send anything to my friends ders.
dots.

Cant wait for tommorow!
sawchiu had book the badminton court at cck stadium!
gona vent out all my anger on that racket and ball! =P
bleahs.
hehes.Friday CROSS COUNTRY!
are you guys ready to run?hohos.
today PE. and there they they even run 10m away.it pours heavily
uhm.later still have to go out to study with my sawchiu.
to contact me later.if u cant get me,and u were once given permission to contact me through me,u may =D
hahas =D yeah!
thinking of the day being with her,certainly make me feel better.
though she might not have any advice at times,but she never fail talk talk craps and do lame stuffs to make laugh.uhms.want me to teach u chemi uhs?
No gurantee.like i said, i had improved from fail to pass.so i will teach only for wad i know uhs
UHs.dun know DUN HIT ME wors.LOLS.
===========================================

What Do You Of This Type Of Guys & Your Guy Belong To?

Guys who are talented in music, physical and academic.

=) uhms. okies. of course i do find them quite remarkable.and is somewhat Mr perfect.
in charcater wise.if their att jsut simply sux.or bec ayse they are too talented that they kept having undwelling thinking high opinion's of oneself.Their gifted talent is wasted.

Guys who are Active and Sporty,with good moral values.
=D hehes.Of cos i would find them fun to be with.active and sporty guys ceratinly wont make a girl feel bored.perhaps they tends to be more romance in some ways and defenitely wont behave a a dead log when courtshiping a girl or is in relationship.hohos.

Guys who are neddy and kept themselves study in the room.
=) hehes.of cos i would that boy BORING! it just simply so neddy and kept themselfes study in the room?my god. i wouldnt be one of them.is good to kept oneself study in the room,but no whole day long please. and for such guys sometimes i sees them as anti social?
because they are being too reserved almost all times? even though they are not,they dun have to be neddy,ehs? perhaps they should try be be fashion,spike up hair and so.and then lalala~
from a neddy boy to a dashing boy? there had been cases like this wors

Guys who are anti social.
=) uhms.guys who are anto socal and only talk more with the one they know or ease at.
uhms,sometimes mixing around . good or ave company pls. might benefits them in the future or society.and i find anti social guy quite sort of boring too.Imagine you had a bf who is damn quiet?wuold u get siock of it as time goes by?

Guys who are sociable.
=D They are guys who defenitely can be somewhat fun to be with .
sometime they never run ourt of tiny tiny little ideas or topics to talk and chat about!

Guys who do have att or and moodswings at time.
=) yeah~ sometimes they just being too FREAK out.which girls feel like stanggling them,
and now a days guys tends have more moodswings or perhaps more emo than girls?
to love them and be their Gf, u need to have the powers of endurance and patience.ur love for them have to like mother nature.and well.sometimes the more you insist the u want them to be the more rebellance they are,therefore u have to be soft hearted with them,and never step on their landmine,if not both of u will quraeel and he will go mad. just remember to calm youself down and have loads of unlimited patience and endure their att.just try to be calm as having a heart like a mother nature. and perhaps eveything will be fine and smooth.

Guys who are flirt
=) uhms.flirt? there's barely any girls who do like flirt guys
friends will do.
and sometime though they are flirt,but they do become a good friends will do.

Guys who loves are humourous.
=) Sometime guys who are humourous, do make you feel "cold" at time
cuz of their lame crappy sometimes they might even make you HIGH FUN DAY when you are feeling sad or low.muhahas.

MY GUY IS:
[[etc.Character wise?what he like?What type of guy he is?]]
a mixture.he do keep himself study in room.but provided when he's preparing for his exam or when during revision.he's not a nerd though he like to be one.
he do have his charm!uhms.though i cant possibly state down all what he like here.but there's one thing i oculd state here and i kow that i would never go wrong by saying he do love VIVAN HSU! woots.yeah! he's hunmourous.Cold and high at times.
sometimes when im sad he never fail to make me laugh or cheer me up with his crap.he's talented in arts and in many other ways which sometimes he himself never know and i spotted it.sometimes he somewhat critisized himself,which i think a part of his talent.one day he will know and realise it without me telling him ders bahs.yeah! he's active and sporty.he played my beloved BB.hahs.he's good at it. simply love to watch him play ball now a days,find it charming! =D
uhms.nahs.he's not flirt,he just have some girlfriends.so do i a few boyfriends,but that doesnt make me a flirt,ehs?and i do have faith that he wont betray me because he's a devoted guy and quite passionate. =) definitely he's sociable,if not we would not get to meet each other,and able to began out story.character wise.uhms? alright.
he's ambtious.yeah~ though att and moodswings at times,but guess he dun mean it perhaps he do have "pms"?joking.joking.lols.couldnt care less.I just simply LOVE HIM FOR WHO HE IS.

Closed Topic =D
--------------------------------
is she really a disturbtant to him like what they say?
or is just that he merely not in a good mood and then behave in this state
when he's sick.she's heartpain
she can feel the fever. the degree hotness.
though she cant feel her pain, but looking at him groaning in time
is just like every spike spiking in her heart.
she gona cry,but she know cant,she got to stay strong.and she know if she cried he will get even more sick and stres.so she's gona bear it.she not gona to let him worry for her
Though she sob.she still fear of silent.and a conversation came out with anything that they had to stop meeting each other, and so.
hey there! but she's trying to be optimistic alright
She's sad.but she guess that let time be.
things will cool down and be resolved like the previous ones.
and perhaps things will get back the same as before bahhs.
uhms.he's flying to SAWADIKA soon.will be missing him!
hehes.wait he kana flood by the hot chili and face burst into read coulour.
woots.that would be cute,isnt it?
hahas.uhms.or he come back to be like very manly? because of SUN TAN
hahas.

[[Darling. hehes. will be flying off in four more days time.hehes.will be missing and dreaming of you ders.wana wedges?wait u fly back have liaos.hehes.take good care of my precious watch wors.ohs.hubby!what about our bearbear zen me ban?!hahas,u gona bring it for a tour too?LOLs.uh huhs,u got to fly there and try their food lor wors.like u told me before that u wana fly to all aplces and try their signature dish which were finger-licking good,ehs?faster cine back.dun let me miss you too much,wait u sneeze even more.muhahas. =)) ]]

Monday, August 27, 2007 ; 2:51 AM?

Baby , i love you so.

Disapponted.uhms,okies. coming to my result first
MT compo.FIST TIME! got just pass =(
alright.wrong words.nvm. put that aside. cuz i know how to write it right
prob is teacher says no profound words or sentences which actually make me feel diao =_=" freak out.alright . teacher tml test i will give you loads of PROFOUND words and sentences.but dun worry.of course have link derrs.
Next,PHYSIC i still dun understand wad is miss marina teaching.
the AC gens.whole chapter. only can use one word to describe. BLUR.
not trying to say her teaching skill is crumble or so.perhaps she sometimes talk jumbo here and there.not always. a few time.that's how i feel.
SS essay.after school i rush home,because teacher kept telling us IT IS CRUCIAL.
need to key in te marks.and then!
LIT left with one more Question.English too. the oral one.
Just need to rush out two more work for both teacher and settle.
HOLD ON! my GEOG test TOMORROW.
gosh!

Gona lend 50 bucks from mummy she said DUN HAVE.
understand her sistuation.
therefore i got to save lors.
sians.yesterday work wad like damn tiring.
staning down there slacking and eating cup and cups of POPCORN.
alright continue blogging later on.
got to bath and go out STUDYING!

Saturday, August 25, 2007 ; 10:02 AM?

Baby , i love you so.

THIKING OF THE PROGRESS CARD JUST SIMPLY MADE ME MAD.
argh.alright drop that.
aim for at least two to three distinction
COMBINE HUMAN.CHINESE.MATH. =D

there's food nnd funfair didnt go for it.
having fever in the morning.
and diah. woops.
sorry.

whes.today was totally fun.alright it was somewhat last minute. and it had been decade since i went out faraway with her.my somply adore beloving girlfriend.
SAWCHIU!
out shopping.the girls shop.hahsa
went to this fashion at fareast.alright some of te clothes is far more better than te lot one this fashion.uhms. hook on a dress.it was nice.gona save it and buy,but before hand gona buy one thing for someone first.hahas.SIMPLY LOVE THAT DRESS.but cant buy yet =(
hehes.we did some tryings.hahs.that was fun.i got the idea intitally.but saw chiu later on read my mind and she thought of the same way too.perhaps we going back and buy the one we love it.hahs.halfway thr, her dear called.and they were teasing me.Jess,where's ur darling.UHms.sad =( they gona make me envious.they did it on purpose. hahs.but i didnt take it too seriously so sc dun worry ,ya? hahs =D
Went inside, and there's a few shop selling shoes.saw chiu look on one shining striking with diamonds show.specially mend for prom night, weddings and stuff.hahs.
it cost 69 ++ whoos. she said. uhms. as long as u put on few pairs of nice shoe, no matter how awkard you wear nobody will bother.why?
BECAUSE EVERYONE ENDING UP LOOKING DOWN , ON UR SHOE! =D
we were then at KFC. she can read my mind and knw i wana head to CINI hahas.
she then later on say out and then say but then wana go to heeren first.
heys.saw chiu tell u wad,though u made a pt down there. that's lame -_-

Head to heeren.hahas.went into action city.uhs. i had chose one presesnt for my friend
gona bought it and gave her a belated ones.hahas.weekdays.studying not free.unless i got the spare time manns. yeah~ happy for her.
SAWCHIU BOUGHT THE SUSPENDER STRIP.which made ME FEEL LIKE KILLING HER.
keep tempting me.she tempt me even more.look at the later part.
dots.alright Sawachiu LAOgong ur strip is nice.and wads more is my colour.of cos superbly nice.hahs.
alright.move on to CINILEISURE.
uhs,i saw many T shirts with words on it,and some other store which sell couple shirt
it was damn nice.uhs.again not enough bucks.nvm save save SAVE!
ohs yeah! went in to BLOSSOMz. hahas.try again, putting on some cute and rature shoes fun and nice trying =D
later on ,another shop. where it sells off shoulder.haha.
and then guess wad. SHE POINTED IT TO ME.and tell me 'I HAD BOUGHT IT'
SICKENING.sawchiu! stop temtping me.wads more i had hook on for a long time.
hahsa.but nvm.sicne u bought it first shall not argue.i take some other coulours then
wehehes.sometimes our taste is just too same that.hais.to badd.LAOGONG marrs.
ohs.she push me into a converseshop.hahs.weis. u no money still treat me like that. im ur LAOPO lehs.how can you! bleahs.
uhms.on our way up our topic was errect.and i ask her wad was that.hahs.then later on she told me.uhms,it deenitely sickening.i know that. we just cant stop LAUGHING.
hahas.hehes.LOLS.LOLs.

TIME UP! got to go outram and meet my parents.hahs
having dinner at there ina a restraunt.it had been since not sure of how long since we had a meal as a family tgt.haha.YUMMUy delicious. [ uhms.sorry my dar.next time,ehs?] hahs
sawchiu.i simply love you.hahas.
she acc me to outram.wohohos.nice being ur friends.
hehes.
but u are "bad" tempt me loads bleahs!

alright.later on they bring me to someone's house.
my mother's friend.they had a son.
i knew him since young.hardly meet.and we only met once or twice a year
had a little cursh on him when I WAS YOUNG.till now i still kana teast by my parents.
reach lers.sickenings.
okies.i dun deny the fact that he's still dashing as before. good moral value.talented in both academic and drawings. an active and loving guy. uhms.he had the filall piety. socaible.
hmm.okies.almost mr perfect.though he might had some negative pt in terms off charac or att, which i dont know at all,hahas.okies. whole day long even after leaving his house they kept on asking who look more charming him or that guy. i was diaos.wait before that,i just got off from the car and there walk a few step.and there my SHOE STRIP CAME OFF.MY HP DROP.
sickening.i told my parent it was damn unlucky.after going home.while my dad drove
my mummy was even worst. telling me wad. if ten years down the road i can be with him get married is my honoured. again i was like kinda of diaos.okies.dad was LOL over there.
MUM!DAD! both of u think too much more far away than me manns.stop it.thanks.
i will apprecaite if te both of u stop being so~

i was like SOS! my dar.help me.
and you are asking the obious manns
of course is you,e most important
unless u betray or lied to me
uh huhs.but i doubt you will because i had faith in you.
hahsa =))
sickening!
tml.working.hahas.late night now and i still cant get to sleep
blogging right now. i miss his lulaby
rock a by baby on te tree top~
but guess he's now sleeping like a~
muhahas.dun say here.wait kana foreit.
thinking of meeting him for dinner certainly made my day brighten up and high happy
hahas.counting down the timing of meeting him.hehes.
and today out with SAWCHIU was damn HIGH FUN. hahs
love ya saw chiu.hehes.

[[Darling,in the acc that ur sick then bought food for you uhs.blehs.think u so great uhs
lols.weis. i then dun wan to be ur chewies! woos. NO MORE FOREIT.no gona bother ur foreit.who cares anyway.whees. u care i dun.weis. u sick take medi ON TIME. EAT then TAKE MEDI.aiyos.dun make me worry or ximtia ehs.hahas.take care.DRINK LOADS OF WATER.u hardly drink water mans.hahs. i miss you. ]]

nothing on earth can even compare you.
my words cant even express out how i feel
for you XD

Thursday, August 23, 2007 ; 9:59 AM?

Baby , i love you so.

woows.
finAlly got into blogger.com
the laptop kept dc my network.it's so SICKENING.
having dinner with him.hehes.
simplyLOVEDINNER.
later on,his dad drive me back home.
called him after i reached home.he is having his SUPER.
myBELOVEDSUPER.i want!
his mummy says is too late.
phews.LOLs.
gosh.FeVer coming up again.
guessed that it was due to yst heavy pour.
breath in too much carbon dioxide XD
finding time to study.these week spent quite loads of time with my dear SAWCHIU and HIM.
hahas.simplyloveit.
These few days were crazy.we kept singing QI SHI HAI AI NI on our way to anywhere.okies.but we got our self limit.Yesterday nad the day before yesterday were playing badminton with sawchiu! yesterday was at the cck stadium.gosh.christ was there.alright glad that we are still friendly.hahas.eeks!saw her ex.alright mean no insult for the eeks.but it was again really.errs.he looks arrogant,alright he is concited.the sight of him make me feel like puking.again mean no insult,who got him to hurt my beloved sawchiu in the past.
alright.drop that.

Before Continuing there's somehting extra down here.
no to insult anyone,but is the fact.
Just simply dont understand why is someone that so of conceited
when she look like she's a harkwroing and up well bringing girls.
it had been for years.and yet she can be still so childish.
wells,act like she call the day.do the way like she's the boss.
wana be the lead,yet it rankles her friends heart.YEARS!
bearing little grudeges for years.everything is like been years
and matter is all over.yet still bothering over it and because of grudges,
keep against on her enemy.when that someone dint even treat her as ones.
yeahs.she even 'want' want her friend by putting them in a difficulty spoy,playing patty games.pls.that's pri sch stuff.i knew that she's at young heart but isnt that too young?
She's not oblivious.but she;s still so oblivious that she thought people dun mind her doing anything she want.wells.she's jsut like so carefree and doing like nobody businiess.when she had somewhat rankled some people heart,and making sime around her simply detest her doings.

Wondering why is it at such a late night,
with fever,im still here,ehs?
because im just too excited that i couldnt get to sleep.
hmm.erms.alright partly was due to sleepless night.
thinking of the event thats coming next tml and sat.
the days spending with him was superbly great.alright though in btw there's little little arguement.but it was sunshine after the rain
SICKOS.nobody wana be ur CHEWies. whoever be ur CHEWies got no gurantee.hahas.
Tomorrow.must got CO.to guide junior.as i had promise them.cant possibly break it.hahas.long time never my DEARLINGVIVIE wondering how's she.hopefully i would get to meet her on satruday bahs.if not i will be out with SAWCHIU.maybe?Not confirm
ohS.

It's so tempting that loads of people surrounded me kept telling me how nice the the FIRST LOVE movie.by jay chou.even sawchiu.telling me its best to watch the couple the effect and atmosphere would be even different.IWANAWATCH too.
yeahs.almost forgot.my english test i got 16 out if 20.which i knew i could do even better but then im sastified with this result.chemistry.miracle.i pass all of it after the terms start again.LOVE MS CHOW "S TEACHING.she's hilarious and humourous.simply a great teacher to me.hahas.but then physics.i nearly pass.Ms marina came to me and ask me how was it and what was the cause.i told her i FAILED MY SCIENCE TEST ALL THE WAY.and told her mid yr the system got somewhat corrupt,failing all the way yet got a B3 for sciences.OHS.is not that im complaing or not happy anything just that,if u were the one failing one particular sub all the way and out of a blue u got a B3.isnt that really a miracle and unrealistic?hahasmy math is dropping again.doubt i can get a B4 again.hahas.A math was no beta.same.but surprsingly i got to understand what is Mr Chua teaching.English.diaos.these few days keep rushing my asgm.yeah! ine more asgm to go.and it's all complete lerrs.

yawn.it's geeting late.i got to my dreamland.
wait a minute.it's sweet dream.no night mare thanks =)
sweet dreams~ =D

[[DalrinG.DRink more water and eat ur pando if u not feeling well,ehs?dun make me worry.hahs.i sick i can self heal.u diff.bleahs.dont keep on highing uhs.hahs.watch first love tell me the story.Nahs.looking forward to watch with u at ur place.ur place seems like a cinema.hahas.miss and love dinner with you.why not let's try havig super next time?hehes.night.sweet dreams~ ashiteru,myboii.]]

Wednesday, August 22, 2007 ; 11:49 PM?

Baby , i love you so.

JUST DONE CHANGING SKIN.
more to update and more changes coming up =)
be patience with that.

hAving sleepless night.
esp last night =(
keep falling asleep in science classes.
it's so sickening.but glad that i manage to get some tips before i fall asleep.
Yesterday night having dinner with my darling.
simply loveDINNER.
hahas.perhaps tonight too?
Friday gona be an exhusating day i guess.
because after attending to CCA i still got to go to SYfi' house to prepare for the following food and funfair day.
uhms.SAWCHIU! watch the first love with her dear lers.sickening.
uhs.i also want to watch manns.
ops.got to buck my school work.
gosh!next week taking progress report card lerrs.
what will my result be?
Terrinble.Horrible.or pass with flying colours?
we shall see. =)

Hey guys,ask you.
lesbian. bysectual or normal route will be better?
some says les. because thought there aint any future.but it's lasting.
some says by.cuz it's flexible.when either one dont want you or hurt you too deep u may try another sex
some says.crazy!nomral for sure.
dots.
okiies.got to stop blogging here.continue at night.
gona be out =)

[[Darling,ur head not feeling well.do take care loads =)]]

more confuse than ever!

Friday, August 17, 2007 ; 8:28 AM?

Baby , i love you so.

reaprroaching.remorseful than ever.

her personality and character is really that lousy:
she is insensitive to other ppl's need.
she is too sensitive.futhur Question other's ppl reason.make accusation
her sensitiveness had lead her to many paths which harms her.
though she had change some of her sensitiveness for certain matter.
is not all yet.her furthur question,"accusation" made ppl hurt and think she dun trust him or them.
even she kept saying she trust.alright she really do.but again the repeated point which had been mention above let ppl think she dun trust them.
she's not gona to continue.she's gona to stop.not all. but slowly. not in one day time.but some times.
she believe she can.if she say she will,she will.she chg not for the sake of him,but her girlfriends,herself,family and her future.she knows if this goes on. she will lead a miserable than ever.she really hope that she can have her friends and his support and trust her that she can do it. if there's still a thought of chgning,there's never too late.she know she gota chg.and she oso know no point of keep saying "chg" when there's no action.
ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS.

Her mummy is heartbroken. broken into pieces.she saw her mum tears start flowing.
Her daddy got hurt.some brusises.
Her sister running over like mad.
her sister's friend together with them.
The girls cried together. Just to consuel this girl.
Daddy over there keep talking.
but she herself. stood at the staircase.listening to their coversation and cried.
she had alr reapporach herself for treating her loves in this way.
now,she reapporach herself for not being able to be the eldest.
she have got no right.yet why do hevaen still pick her?
she was thinking,she was partly blame for her sister.she knows that she had never been a good sister.
she know that she's not fit to be her sister,neither is she fit to be the eldest daughter in the family.
she did not manage to join in the conversation and talk round to her sister.yet she stood there.crying.reapporaching herself for her love and family.
Initally she thought that she was just bad enough.but later on she wish herself decieve herself no more.
SHE'S NOT JUST BAD ENOUGH.BUT SHABBY.

Now everything seems like going back to the past.she manage to revive from death once.doesnt mean she can now too.things SEEMS to be getting out of hand.but let the sympthom be.
hevaen once took her life away,and give it back to her.give her life path to chose.
heaven is kind enough to her.this time round? she feels like heaven is playing a trick on her.give back her life,let her chose her own life path.but now seems that heaven wana take it back.will she revive again.she dont know.she's now for the sake of their date,friends and family.Struggling. Challening with the heaven,she's gona hold her breath.she wont give up till the last moment.last min. especailly november. her date with sha gua
she will hold on too, for the sake of her TT examination.she not only wana prove to those ppl out there who had been depising her always,but prove to herself too that she could do it.

her thoughts.eveything seems to be this way;
he SEEMS not to believe that she cld chg.
he SEEMS not to bother her anymore.
he DOESNT SEEMS to be hurt.but is really hurt.
she knows that she cant outwit that girl who love him too and might be pursuting for him.Not that she trust or hv no confidence in him or this relationship.is that she had.everything which seems and doesnt seems to be.
nothing she could do.just wish that he could support her in disregard and really trust her that she's actioning it that she cld chg.most importantly,after much consideration,ponderings and self questioning.she really do turst him.
and love him loads.
they SEEMS to dont understand her
they SEEMS to be tired of her.
they SEEMS to feel damn sick of her.
but she's glad.despite all these,her friends dint levae her in the lurch.the endure and tolerate her.
and tried to accept for who she is.
their SEEMS to detest her alots.
their SEEMS to really depise her
their SEEMS to really think she cant be the eldest.
even she herself thought so.
but isit really this way?not accusation.not suspection.not distursting.just wondering.

she dun wish to lose her sister.though she admit her sister is sickening.but after all they do have happy times which value lots more than she herself think.
she dun wish to see her mummy in pain,she's hurt too.
she dun wish to see his daddy got cut,ger heart got a scare too.
she dun wish to lose him.she loves him.hope he still too.
she dun wish to let him hurt.she's heartbroken too.
she dun wish to see him in this state,when there's smth gg on in him,she cant help.she feel helpless.
she dun wish to make them feel sickening.she wants them to be happy.
she dun wish to make them feel hurt cuz they thought she disturst them.she will feel guilty and upset too.
she dun wish to make them feel agaited because of her.she loves them loads too.and she really truly apprecaite them.
she really gona stop it.love but not hurt him
she know wads right and wads wrong
yet here sensitivenss made her follow her heart and do wrong things.
she gotta stop it.
if she's with him again,she really wish to love him even more.
not make him hurt numb and tired.

He is absouletly right.THEY WILL CHANGE.why?
because. THEY CHANGE BECAUSE I CHANGE.

she just really want and wish that she can live on to see the future.
be with him
meet her friend in the poly.
achieve her dreams
she dun wish to end it at this sweet 16.
it's crummy.
NO WAY.SHE"S GONA LIVE ON.
FOR THE SAKE OF HERSELF.HIM.FAMILY&FFRIENDS

[[darling.dun worry my dear if you are.like i told u and promise u before i will live on.days are getting colder.do take care.dun skip meals.how's ur prelieum?hope eveything's fine for you.if u dint do it well or u are nt sastified with it.work harder next time.there's still some time left for improvements.if u are sastified with it.then ur hard work paid off.then continue with it.hahas.jia yous wors.pls my dear,dun bu li wo,ehs?will be waiting for ur calls and smses.rmemeber.when getting out of hands must take ahem.u know what is ahem ders.told u sms before lerrs.hahs take care.wana eat wedges? i will still cook.i want my JYA CHOU's movie disc.i wana watch.dun forget each other's promise.wedges and show =) SHA GUA! blehhs. love ya =X]]

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late
This could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end.
With you by my side
I will fight and defend.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007 ; 2:28 AM?

Baby , i love you so.

sickening.dumbo. =(
recently,she feel that she had turn into a child like.
like? speak in a funny way. do some funny actions. timid. dun give in that often.
like a kid keeping the toy to himself. a little bit cannot alr. dun ask her why.
she dun know why too.perhaps is the surrounding. the happenings. all times she wana share with him,but he's too busy or got to sleep early.so no one she can or wish to share with. not blaming him. understanding bahhs.
guess things will get well soon for her,isnt it?
sad.dumbmies.
she dun deny the fact that she was upset that he "scolded" her on the phone in front of his classmates.
if his classmates got to know the one on the phone is her,she will sure whoas! good game~
but she knew that she had got no right to speak anything because she's at fault first.
perhaps her tone in the sms is too heavy,and made him sound like she dun believe him.
when she called,she could hear from the tone that he is damn angry and somehow hurt,she guess?
she detest herself for hurting him again and again,she hate herself for each time the way she pharse her sentence made him feel like she dun trust him at all.
what else can she do? SORRY again?
sorry is only a word to express u are sorry,but doesnt means it cure everything or let that person feel lesser hurt.uhs.AH JESS uhs! next time pharse ur sentence properly,or think how before you speak or send any smses ahhs!not only detest,hate but annoy too.dun be so impulsive.sometimes she's thinking if she die could off better.friends wouldnt have to tolerate with her nosense and retatrted move.he wldnt get hurt. family wldn't had shout at her till their throat broke out! no one would have to tolerate ro even endure with this idotic,retarted,dummies, JESS! now she's fear that, her phone will ring at night or even when and there he goes, " i think we beta stop talking or meeting for a period bahhs." or if aft today he dint contact her ,then haleiluya lerr lorrs.
only then she will even xim tia.but cant do anything.just wait for that period to over.
wait till the time,he wana contact her he will.she dun wish to pester him and make him feel even more agiated.
why is she behaving like that.now,get it clear she's not trying to push blame to herself again
the FACT now is, INITIALLY, SHE's the one who provoke him by and the one who started to sent those smses first.SICKENING AH JESS.
MISS JESS.AH JESS.can u pls dun be so dummies or not?!

[[daring.i got nth to say.im speechless. i only know how to say sorry. and dun noe wad else lers.maybe im just really too reatarted,each time i phrase my sentence and let u really think that im dun turst you.but i really do. contact me if u want to bahs.i didnt really mean to say i dun believe you. haiis. think u are feeling down now a days too,try to cheer up.anything i will lend u my listening ear.i will talk less. and you re lack of sleeping too. sleep early alright? eat too much super at night will gain fat derr.ops XD. take care.]]

dumies you.
stupid you.
retatred you.
idoitic you.
conceited you.
silly you.
impulsive you.
uhs.beta die off.so that no one get hurt bcos of u.

bcos of her whim.things started to happen again.feeling remorseful.seems that she had been trounched off.her mind was in a whirl.
she knows that PERHAPS she couldnt had outwit them!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007 ; 3:25 AM?

Baby , i love you so.

Sickening.really sick.

fever for several. days.nobody knows.yesterday almost dying in school.

dissapointed in her chemistry test.expect a 15 .but end up 11.

guess there's careless mistake in her calculation.

Guess she statred to bother her sciences. cuz in the past no matter how bad she failed,she wont bother.

if there's a pass, she's already contnet.nvm,that's a good sign either,ehs?

hahas.next time can do even better derrs. JIA YOU! =)

Yesterday he's hving english oral.

wondering,how's everything.

sorry,she too.forget to speak in english for him.

heard that the topic is about toys and fortunate.

hope everything goes well for him.

aiyas.he's so smart.sure can do it well derrs.

and her WHOLE SATURDAY OUT with HER DARLING.

was a FUN and MEMORABLE one.

SHE's LOVING IT.

Saturday, August 11, 2007 ; 5:16 AM?

Baby , i love you so.

currently at darling's father's shop. =)
hehes.using his dad laptop! =)

things dat a perfect guy will do :

1. Known how to make you smile when you are down.
Defenitely yes!
2. Try to secretly smell your hair,but you always notice.
Sometimes =)
3. Stick up for you, but still respect your independence.
Most of the time. =)
4. Give you the remote control during the game.
NO!
5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.
Yes =)
6. Play with your hair.
OF COURSE!
7. His hand would always find your hand.
At ALL tiMES =)
8. Be cute when he really wants something.
MY BOY.OF COURSE!
9. Offer you plenty of messages.
SURE!best,ehs?
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
YEAH~ but we enjoy it =)
11. Never run out of love.
NEVER EVER =D
12. Be funny, but know when to be serious.
ALWAYS.
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious.
YEAH~
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.
Defenitely YES.but can be damn noisy and naggning at times =)
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.
NO.he "groan"
16. Smiles a lot.
NOt only.But LOL too.
17. Plans a romantic date full of things he wouldn't normally do because he knows it tis be4.
HE DID.to me,it is. =)
18. Appreciate you.
He SURE DOES =)
19. Help others out.
yeah! he's helpful.but never praise that in front of him.he will get ahem =)
20 Drive five hours just to see you for one.
he've got no car. xD
21. Always gives you a kiss when you leave, even when his friends are watching.
sometimes.hehes.alright.
22. Sing, even if he can't.
yeah.esp song by VIVIAN HSU! =P
23. Have a creative sense of humor.
My boy,he does!
24. Stare at you.
MOST OF THE TIMES."sickening" =P
25. Call for no reason.
sometimes wors.hahas.NO NEED REASON. =)

Thursday, August 09, 2007 ; 8:14 PM?

Baby , i love you so.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO S'PORE

happy NATIONAL DAY.

Thinking back to the NDP 2005

The goats,dragonflies, ferns, coconut trees, and the wave and even more

the tough training we had.

the dance step that we had to keep on praticsing under the sorcing hot sun.

THeiR Food, and driNks.The CostuME.With different forms of coulours and pattern

the PreViews.The FiREWORKS.The celebration.

the day we spent together.the pic we had taken together.

it was all so memoroable.

never to be forgotten.

NDP 2005 PiiCS.there's more.But is not in this com =)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yesterday,went to esplanade.

with yuko and vivie!

hahas.everywhere was block and we had a hard time passing thr anywhere

end up,we lost lost our way.

it was so sickening,end up they called for quan and jack the guys for help

met them,and watch fireworks together.

thanks.her wishes during the preview fireworks had come true.

and there yst she made one more wish. shhh...

hahas.later on went to MAINA SQ for dinner.

walk there =)

the guys seating behind their seats failed to take her number =)

even if she were to give she wld give 81609862. =)

SMART! bleahhs.anyway they just failed.

so she wont have to give too

hahs.reach hm at abt gona to be one?

hahas.wear out.chg cloth.wash up.and fall asleep.

sweet sweet dream~

but in the middle there's nightmare abt him.

uhs.sickening.GET RID OF IT.

perhaps she think too much in the day =P

LAter on going out with my dear SAW CHIU!

hahas.miss her loads.loads to share with her.hahahs.

finally able to meet her lerrs!yeah!Saw chiu JIA YOU in ur DNT worrs.

hahas.

[[Darling,hahs.dun drk so muc h cold water.dun wish to tell u at all times.wait u say i naggy,then u agiated.later on good game.hahas.i will try to take care of myself derr larrs.Dun worry. u wont make me worry too,ehs?hahs.i trust you =)]]

THE END

=======================================================

Yesterday,i took my risk and help him speak up.it's like .

pHEW!

Last few days.

wadeav drinks he bought i kept on drinkin as much as i can.

only left abit,

cuz i dun want him to drink too much cold drinks.

sick and worry for him.

feeling down.

depress.

listening to some pleassant songs to cheer myself up.

seems like no one's there for me.

that dumbmmies things kept going on

when can it be solved?

the day when it's solve,the day i will stop being blurries like now a days.

i just simply feel sux now daes.

im so unbearable by others.

because the my bluriness,the way i talk.

my stupidness.EVERYTHING SINGLE THING.

my leg is wobbly yst night.i kept mum.

my legs is trembling,i kept mum.

cuz i know no one. no one will.

SOMETIMEs i really just feel like locking myself up,dun wish to contact anyone.

cuz of that happening.im just feeling so depress and down

my heart kept on rumbling.my mind kept on whirling with all thise idoitc stuffs.

my eyes were like every min the thought of it,it will started to filled with water.

but what can i do?

PLS dun let that Past Ms jEss,who knows how to speak,who knows how to stand up when she fall,

who knows how to solve things well,who know how to handle things well as before.

not be a shadow again

bring it out pls

i beg!

Friday, August 03, 2007 ; 4:01 AM?

Baby , i love you so.

FIRST TIME!
understand A marh and able to do some of the linear Quesion!

clap.clap.yeah!hahas.heys.she's smart too~ ;)

SICK STILL.IT"S SO SICKENING.

her head hurts.her kidney reacts again,her legs and hands releaspe.asthma reacts[[small case]]

uhs.so sickening.feel like when she was young,HIGH HIGH fever,SERIOUS coughing,asthma reacting.

she's gald that she's able to revive from her death.thanks GOD!and her mummy&daddy.LOLS.

things happening recently.the depressing tone,hurting words,cryings,every single words.keep playing in her mind.it's even playing in her dreasms.So is she hurt,is she feeling depress,so does she cried too.each time it's playing in her mind.she's just totally speechless,and numb.she dont know what to say,because she's knew that she's at fault.she knew that she's the one who make both party so sad.she dont know how to face hIm.is like all her fault again.scold her.hate her.slap her.so that she will feel better.but DONT TK her.

that was all the happenings few days ago.

Today, she made a wrong move.she admit she was oblivious,she was at fault.serves her right that her friend was fustrated at her.she's really speechless.she dont want thing to become this way.guess that recently she another wrong move too which made her not in a clear minded state.she was thkning for days and nights,and trying to calm herself down,and finding solutions for her own.that made her somehow oblivious too.she herself also dont know what's wrong with her.guessed that recently she will be EXTRA more careful,and be more awareness,before she speaks anthing or do anything,to prevent from making her friends fustrated,hving conflict,or stir up any trouble.Regardless what her friend talk about,she will just purely shut up.listen more than she talk.speak only when there's a need to.

and wait for her time to pass by,let herself settle her own stuff,and then she will hv a clearer mind,by then life will be much more easier than now.

_____________________________________________________________________

really.no one understand her.

everyone thought that each time when somethintg happen

she's just trying to speak up for herself,and thiking that she's not

at fault.NO.that's not what she thinks.she cant even stand her self now

she dont understand why!she used to be able to speak and express well.

nothing goes wrong,speaks nothing wrong.

NOT OBLIVIOUS.NOT THAT BLUS AS NOW.

where's that miss jess?Died off,or had been buried.or had even hide it

behind her as a shadow.if that's the case,she dont want it to be the shadow

she want it to be back herself.but nt like a shadow.

to be continued...

Wednesday, August 01, 2007 ; 6:13 AM?

Baby , i love you so.

fevering.headache.SICKENING.
MS JESS GOT MC
AH JESS IS SICK.WHAT DULL HELL.

when she said orhs.
she didnt just means orhs
it was just more than orhs.
shes' not expressive enough.
pardon her for that.
in fact when she saw it,she was happy at that time
she wana sae back back the same thing to you.
sorriew to make you worried.
her fault, she made u upset and cried again
she made u heartbroken once more.
she dont mean it,
neither she want it
she know "sorry" cant cure anything,
tell her what she cld do to mend it back.
each time she hear your pieces of broken glasses and tears.
deep in her heart,she feel sad too.
it was just more than sadness
SLU.Forgive her,wont you?
she wont let you have the feeling of losing her again.
something impt to you.she wont let you lost it.
neither she would want to lost that "something" impt to her too.

if loving you brings me more misery,then i wouldnt had called that SinNomEmoRo <3