Yesterdae supposingly ahd hv dinner with him
but then it seems that he dont want it anymore
my so call last dinner with him was gone like that
im the one who cause it.
never mind,i blame no one.
anyway, guess he cant find anybody that's why he look me up.
it's alright anyway.forget about that.
am i that easily get con
why do ppl lie to me when there aint a need for it.
i accept the lie,i learn to forgive and forget
i love them so i take it.
anyways,i simply loves his parents.
hahas.his parent were humours and cute!
alright i dun really know them,but so far that's what i see.
hahas.initally thought that his parent might be very fierce bomabarded with Q in the first place
but end out it turn out to be the opposite way.

Today,Heard that a rumours had been spreading
saying that she had been his disturbant,saying that she disturb him.
after she heard it,she was like OMG.
she describe to her friend the feature of that particular per who was speaking ill of her.
yea.she's right.she know whos the one.heard that when that per is saying all these words,he's there too.listening.
Well.she's speechless then.
IF the rumours is the fact,then good for it,no disturbant now.
lols.she also not sure.
well.let this rumours be and spread all over if it's meant to be.

She saw how that boy treat that girl.
they were so lovely.
though the girl att was lol,but they still manage to be tgt.
saw some friendster post, loads of i love you my dear...etc.
saw a newly couple in school today,so sweet
hahas.ZU TIAN XIA YOU QING REN ZHONG CHENG JUAN SHU.

She went to ask teacher yst,how to lost memories.
and she got idea of how a person lost a memory.
dun worry,even if she's at the wit end she wont head for the death path.
Before she slept,she stare at the top,blinking her eyes,tears rolling down her cheecks.
non stop, the tears had covered up her views.she could not see anything more.
Early in the morning she woke up,she hug the pillow.crying again.
her heart had been break into pieces,she could hear the broken pieces.
she hold the broken pieces of glasses,she feels nothing,only a bit of pain,just like ant biting,
Too many terrible thgs had happen.
she had burn down.
she dun wish to break someone's promise,but just this once will that do?
Walking on her way to the school,memories playing in her mind.
she just cant help thinkning.
the scence just cant stop playing.
she took a deep breath and continue to walk on.
On her way to the mall,
things started to play in her mind again.
she remembered, the day when he wana hold her hands,
she was shy,she remebered she did blush,but thanks to the sunshine that had make an excuses for her. and she keep on rejecting.
in the mall,when they were holding hands,they saw their friends she hurriedly kept her hand away.
she knew she must hv him deeply by then.
she remembered the staircases.
she told him if by hugging her can let her distress go ahead.
and he did.
she was wondering why all thewse started to roam in her mind again and again.

well,dun worry is not all totally all these and him which made her burn down,is there's more to it.
she's going to the wit end.


bing xiang jie bing ka fei gun tang
zhu bu hao zui jian dan de zao can
xi bu xi huan, xi bu xi guan,
wo zhong shi shuo bu chu ge da an
yi ge ren lai you yi ge ren wang
zen me ran ta liu wang ban

wo be xiang dang ben
wo zai qiang shang xie man le ke wang
wo ke yi da ku yi chng
hai shi kong kong dang dang
wo jue bu cheng qiang
shu yu wo ren qi zhi ran
dan wo ye yao an quan gan
zai mo ke shi dan cheng du
de zhu zhang
huan ran liao jie yan guang ye shi wen nuan
mei ge zao shang dou xiang lai chuang
mei you meng shi zui rang ren ciui shang
wo de yan jing ding zhe tian hua ban
ye pao bu chu ren he dui xiang.

ying wei,
wo bu xiang zhi dao wo hai hui zai dui shui sheng chu wo de shuang shuo,
ying wei ni liu gei wo yi ge wei wan zhen de meng
qi shi wo fei chang ai ni bu xiang shi qu ni.
ye xi wang ni neng gou ming bai yi ke jian qiang de xin
yi ran hai zai deng dai ni hui lai.
xiang yao zai yong you yi ci.
xiang yao zai ci rang wo meng de ai qing chang jiu.

SHE MISS HER FRIENDS, THE BEAR BEAR, AND HIM!

[[Darling,must eat uhs.dun skip meals horrs!this few days keep on raining,dun catch a cold,ehs?
hahas.cuz i not sure if i cld cook porridge for you still or not.haahas.and my beloved bear!when or if u did miss me,the bear represent me bahhs.take good care of him horrs.if i am leaving it there for you for good,beta treatit nicely uhhs.dun let me dream of the bear bear say u bully horrs.if not wo gen ni mei wan mei liao.LOLS.hahas.i will miss you derrs. ahiteru!]]



sob.sob.
i am so hungry.
hahas.

Could someone tell her why is there such thing as life and death apart?
if such thing wana exsist in the first place,why muust human being created.
to let one per die or leave,and let those who are living feel sad and pathetic,
why do heaven have to prank on people by this way?
dun tell her is part of life,is a test,why must there be so many things be part of life in the first place then?
thought the world including the god had always wanted us human being to live in peace and harmony?
then why created so many test to make human's life diffcult?
WHY TELL HER WHY!
she admit!she's fear of life and death apart.
she admit!she wana hide from the reliaty
she admit!she just simply hate this.
why do so many people she loves gona leave her,eragdless whenever she need them or not,
why do they and him got to leave?
is there a need?
then she rather be the one who die first and leave those peopl living behind.
she's selfish!she admit!at least she died first she wont be the the one playing the role who had been leave behind to be sad and cried.
she rather peopl feel and cried for her because she's gone.
no longer in this world!

Tell her,tell her why!do people,friends comes and goes ard,
why cant they just enter ur life and settle down?
why must there be so many creation?
WHY!tell her why!
if ppl are meant to be comes and goes ard each other's life in the first place,
then why do friends,family and evebn human exssist?
SInce in the first place we are like toy got to comes and move ard each other ppl's life

The most scary thing in love life
she had figured out,firstly,the greatest dist is not u love that per,and that per dun love you,
is both of u love each other,yet you all cant be together.
next,is feeling,whevever either one party lost feeling everything is gone.NO TALK!
there's more to it but she had forgotten.

Teach her,how to lost memories
teach her what she shd do to forgot everything?
EVERY SINGLE THING.
should she run over and bang into a car,
would that do?
or should she just bang her head into a wall,untill there's blood till she fainted?
or shd she just jump off from third building, pushing her head downwards?
teach her then!
HOW?!
________________________________________________________
The rain just never seems to bring
The joy I feel the same.
Everlasting pain of my loss remains.
My heart can’t seem to learn to part
The hold you left you mark.
All that I dreamed of now it seems so stark.
Though I told myself won’t hold my breatha part of me was dying.
There is nothing left for me to do now.
But give in.If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling.
I would sing to you and tell you I won’t
Live my life without you.

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling.
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes.
And you know I’d never let you go.
The way you left me on the train.I don’t know what to say.
I remember everything of that day
I can’t believe we’d never dance
I just need one more chance
To share the sunset our one last romance
Though I told myself won’t hold my breatha part of me was dying.
There is nothing left for me to do now.
But give in.If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling.I would sing to you and tell you
I won’tLive my life without you.
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling.I would hold your hand and look in your eyes.
And you know I’d never let you go.If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling.
I would sing to you and tell you
I won’tLive my life without you.If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling.
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes.
And you know I’d never let you go

i feel so helpless.
i am no longer the past jessie who knows who are capable to help people
not even my own love
is there a need for you to lock up urself,
switch off ur hp,
and lost contact with others or maybe even just me.
is there a need for you to feel so empty
when im always here to love you,
even if my love wont be able to to fill up ur empty heart,
there's still t rue friend ard isnt it?
yst u lock urself up in the toiliet,i stood outside,
a ray of light shine in,but what i can see is no more longer light,is still darkness,
i wana switch on the light,but im afraid is to bright.
why not,is the time for you to show urself?
for this once!
THIS ONCE!relieved urself,and be urself.
u wana cry,go ahead,u wana be crazy go ahead!
u wana be upset go ahead.No one will blame you.
stop wearing ur mask for this once.JUST THIS ONCE.
try putting it down!NO HARM.
BU YAO ZAI YIN SHI,ZAI WEI ZHUANG LE!
Dun act like nth's gona happen anymore.
dun act happy ler,thats not you,
ur happy doesnt comes from the bottom of ur heart,ehs?
i dun everything which happen yst to be the last dae.
no such thg call last day,
im helping you to do smth right now,
thats why i got you to trust me, nothing will happen
u gona be alright.i hope that at the time when the date reach,
if u still hv feeling for me
u wont act away,u wont gimme this thg as an excuses.it's unfair for me
u had alr treated me unfairly almost everything,u may.
but not that time when the date had reach.
u gona bu cure,nth's gona happen.
i still hv loads of words hvnt say to you,
u once promise me before u gona take neoprint for me,
we said before after O lvl we gona the our most memorable place to stay overnight.
is it u wana see everyone cried for you,upset for you,then u willing to show urself?
u wana see everyone die for you then u will show urself?
if so,why not let me be the first one?
im helping you right now,dun let my effort went into the drain
you got to stand up for urself! you got to zheng qi yi dian cai xing!
u got to be strong!pls i beg you...
I WANA YOU TO KNOW,
NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO
I WONT HATE YOU.
NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO,
I WONT GIVE UP!
so pls do you,if u are,dun give up urself.
FOR NOW,
YOU CANT LEAVE BEFORE ME.
HATE ME FOR ALL U WANTED,
SCOLD ME FOR HELPING YOU.
BEAT ME UP FOR TREATING U IN THIS WAY
THREATEN ME AND SAY YOU NOT GONA TO TALK TO ME.
ONCE AGAIN,
NO MATTER WHAT I WONT GIVE UP



I prayed to god,
dun let the per whom i love the most,and dun let that someone who love me too,
to leave.dun apply the death and life aprart on us.
im depressed enough.
really,i prayed to god.dont.

What an ideal boyfriend is?
understanding
able to give in.
Respect for who i am
able to share weal and woe together
No alcholic
No smoking
No lies
No hiding the fact
-BE TRUE TO THEIR FEELING!

PLs dun treat ur ex or friend too differently,because if u stil treat ur ex with more concern WHEN U HAD NO FEELING FOR HER,
she might mislead u love her or have feeling for her still.Unless u treat them differently not only because she's ur ex,but provided u still hv feeling or love for her still. <3

she asked him smth very awkawrd Q,esp for a girl to ask,she feels that same way,just that she's hiding it.she knew that she had ask at the wrong time and she shouldnt have ask those these thg at ths point of time,but she still choose to ask because she donmt know when's her last time or even if there's a chance for her to asked again or not.yesterday is a past,tml might be too late.she admite that she ask the same thgs lots of thg in diff phrases.ask for confirmation which she knew will make him fustarted.

She asked"Though we had break,u hug me,u still hv feeling for me?
She asked 'do u love me still'
he said ' no'
she asked"when we break you still hug me cuz of?'
he said"mainly is for the sake of u,only a small portion is i want.'
she asked' do u still have feeling for me?"
he said' yes,but not that much as before'
she asked'love no,feeling yes?'
he said' feeling is feelin,love is love.
she asked the way u treat me now as a freind or as a ex?
he said'ex,and friend,one more time got feeling no love.'

she was alright got feeling but no love.what about her?
love?lost feeling?she knew that when he said all those she shd feel hurt,
but she dun have the feels.guess her emtion was abit shaken,and she know why,guess it will recupate back in no times.
not only him,when she ask she will feel awakard too.dun u thk so?she knew it was very direct,but somtime beating ard the bush will mislead someone.ehs?and sure she wldnt want to be mislead isnt it?but she appreciate his tuth and direct.she believed that sometime when even is not for the sake of her u suddenly hug her,is bcuz u wana hug,and when u hug is cuz u still hv feeling for that per.
if not no feleing hug for? then he can hug many girls ler lorrs.
she look at you,see the way u played ard, hear ur singing,she didnt talk,
not bcuz she was acting emo,is just that she want to pay attentively to you,capture every sight of you,as her memories.
she dun wish to forget him.
Listen up,she wont deny the fact still that i miss you and hugs! but she's glad that at least you did it not totally for accreditaion and most importantly he didnt follow his friend's foothestep. she wished that next time ur hug for her is only when u wanted and u miss or need it.
not just bcus she wnt then u gave her.

most of the time when breakup,most of the couple feeling will fade or remian the same,or even increase due to some happenings.she cld tell him that she still hv feelings for him still,she wana tell u that though no love but he still holds on to some feeling,she's more than content.
Sorry that she kept asking the same questions over and over again.is like his answer was all jumbo up,once again the head doesnt amtch with the tail.that's why.but she just really wanted to know how he;'s feeling right now
complicated?confusion take place?
she only knw one point,no love but still holds on to some feeling.
but as she said ler,it mihgt be the last time or the only time she asked him lerrs.

After 4mths he still hv feeling for her or not,.she will still wait,he will still revieve something from her.hahas.though he told her some of her feeling but that's just the present,no ones know the future,let alon 4mths later.So regardless what the answer will be not only she will wait,she hv no regrets.meanwhile regardless where is she, she will still have feeling or love for you.wherever she is she will give you her support

Her tears had mix with the raindrops,
the day you are able to identify her tears might be the day she had gone.
or might be the day she appeared again.


ps;more at her private blog.only shown this once. 'www.missingy0ualways.blogspot.com.this and sinn0memoro blog is only limited to some acc,so for those limited users,after reading this pls keep it private =)
she trust u guys uhs. =)

[[dalring,so take care loads,monday last day of prelium lerr.chong uhs!jia you dao di,but not overwork or overstress.wo ting ni dao di.bleehhs =P]]

PHySics.FUn!
finally.she know how to ans teacher Q at last.
she can plot those things well.hehes.
first time she's doing well for my her physics.hahas
the week after next week got physic test.on mangetism.
hopefully she can pass uhhs.hahas.math test got back lerrs.
yeah!i pass lerrs.blehhs =P
she's loving it.but teacher sae whole class sae got retest.well do even better derr.
but siianz.INEQUALITY lehhs.ohs.wells.sickening.
RECESS time!most sicko.she's outside her class,viewing up.saw that someone.
she wana a clear view of him so she walked to class 4/1 outside.but
he gone missing lerrs.diaos. -_-"

nvm.cant msg him.bcuz he must be studying or so.
so she just wish upon.she hope he's doing well for it.hahas.
erms.she's not in a good mood, so she ate smth which she shdnt hv eat at all.hahas.
she will buy one more derr lars.dun worries =)
Mr narain didnt come,so they leave earlier.hahs.
when she and drea reached the bus stop,the moment she saw that someone she wanted to see
she jump up.as if she was overjoy to the moon.LOLS.
but she burst into laughter right away,cuz she saw that someone's friend.hahas.
hmm..shall not mention what's going on. muhaahahs.
now at drea house with vivie.hahas,posting,finding some skins.wana chg my blogskins to a even better and nice ones.she alr got some ideas.but due to the timing she can only create a post first.bcuz vivie gona post too.hehes.
Few mins aago,on msn.hmm.HE's online! yeah! she's so happy!
see.told u.now a days.she's like mad.the moement he appeared she will overjoyed to the moon.hard to describe the feels.blehhs.
she double click.the window pop up.she was smiling to herself.
she was wondering shd she talk to him? he might not be reply perhaps bcua he might be reading smth on so.so she press the ESC button.later on,a window pop up.UHS!HIM!
told her to take care.hahas.she wana tell you thanks and take care too.and how's todae's paper?
BLEHHS.hahas.

shiT!tml got A math,ohs sickening.
fri test.well.she dont even know what's going on in there.
how is she suppose to seat for the test?
yeah!one idea coming up.seat down there and ly on the table.
so shd she just try her best to attepmt the paper?
of cos is.. TRY HER BEST EFFORT TO ATTEMPT the paper manns.
todae again.lit! preparing skit.
wells.she's placed the role of PETRA.alright it's fine with her actaully.hahas.
she's now currently seating in front of the screen,posting, hugging the bear, and smile to herself =)

wells.for the previous post,to be continue another time.sorry for the inconviniece
Thanks for being understaning =)

[[Dear,study hard,but not overwork.got to work hard for 5 or 4 days more only then can take a break for one or two days ler.hahas.bring me out for a meal again,wont u?missing hving meal with you.muahhas.coffee can drink,but not too much uhs.cuz too much ca fei wu not good derrs.
dun burn midnight oil horrs.morn dun miss any alarm.not critizing you.is u everytime sleep like pig.OIe~oiE~.blehhs!how' todae math paper lerrs.hahas.hope u are doing fine horrs.got anything feel free to msg me.hahas.rmb i am and i will be that someone which i mention to you before in my sms der.i am and i will be that someone who will cares,concern and love you.be ur listening ear.dun worry.guess this time round i hv to listen more than talk.ur lao ma cum mummy ask me to help u distress.pls boy.u got to stay gaiety,alright? if not see u like that i will also xim tia der.JIA YOUs!im gona to be on the phone with you soon.ashiteru!]]

saddening.
troublings.
anyody there for her?
she's going from bad to worst.
everything SEEMS to be falling in place.
but ITs NOT at all.not totally.
who can feels or even bother what's in her inner world really about.
lame soon. Just So what her FUTURE will be?

Ms Jess is here again to post.hahas
gona post a super duper long one?
but it might only half way thr,heys guys cuz now i s alr 10 plus PM,
and im at drea house.just done helping her to make her blogskin
Go visit her blog.it's a nice and most ever beautiful ones =)
Credits goes to: Ms Jess and Drea=)
alright.let's begin my super duper long post journey bahhs.



FRIDAY___ =D
Racial Harmony dae.
Ms jess is wearing her kebaya.borrowed from NINA
thanks NINA.she took some piics with the gals.though she had not recieved all photos.but at least there's one or twp =)
hehes. nehhs...
[rest of the journey on fri is at the previous post =)]
The UNITED 4/3
RashiDa.FAdzi.Nina.Jess.SyF.





SATURDAY___ =)
Boring~yawn.
until nina sms ms jess.what she doing
and ask them out.alright she was caught at outside far east
by an inspector.he suspect she smoke.OMG.
she didnt.neither is she a smoker.the kuku inspector.
beta go make himself a pair of spec pls! then later on we walked ard at far east,
hehes.looking for dresses.after that went to HMV.hmm.we took neo.
hahas.Upload it another time.not with her now.blehhs =P
ohs.wells.got just fries for her dinner.somehow hungry.later on lte night went to esplanade.
marina side.hahas.happen to be with drea.OHs.OMG.The firework was so beautiful,more pretty than ever than the last few yrs.well..that's just her thoughts.it was damn crowded.
and the PRI 5 kid seems to be very dua pai.then blk the whole way path,got police to guard them somemore.wad duh =_=" they were little kiddies.wearing diff kind of animal's hat on their head.it was so sickening but CUTE!hahas.recalling 5 yrs ago,she and her friends were like them too. FINALLY! the crowd was over.they may cross the path now.ohs.yeah~ THANKS AH SIR! =) nothing beta to do,thinking of where to go.hmm..meanwhile.
here comes the zi-lianing JESS.and she took piics with her friends too.
narrs.there is it worrs. blehhs =P
[[post tml]]

later on,they went to cck mac.hahas. on the way,she chat with her darling.yeah~ hahas.but later on got abit upset narrs.aiyas.talk abt it later on.hahas. okies.then she and drea took 190 back hm.ohs yeahs.thanks nina for the taxi fair back from esplanade to ccks mac =) .n ext time when she got enought bucks her turn to treat u alrigght,ehs?hahas.Dun turn it down uhhs.hahas. reach home ler!yeah!Bomp.lying down on the bed liao.wait.of cos she got washed up and chg narrs.hahas. [[Darling,you dun kuku lar.really da sha gua.ur legs so skinny.next time my leg got prob,how u gona bei me?eat more.more energy.dun u skip meals uhs.at least grab a little bite,ehs?like todae.nv eaten for the whole daes haiyoyos.how can? nvm.guess ur dad will buy for u at night der.so must eat eat eat uhs.nv expect u to eat like pig.but at least gain some fat not like now.stupid kuku you.da sha gua!lit paper for todae.nvm over ler.at least u got the determination to finish the 1st Q,beta than u do it halfway and then give up.tml math paper huh?shd be lat,if im not wrong.JIA YOU.ur curve ruler is still with me!gona pass it to you der.wells.again i got to emphasize on this dun stress urself,and dun overwork,ehs?other than tell u to jia you,there's nothing else i can do,who ask u dun want my brkfst.blehhs.hhas.nt blaming u narrs.thanks for ur yummy cookies.and i wont touch ur or even nibble at ur milky choco der,milky boy~.hahas.rest early,ehs?hahas.wo ai ni worrs. XD]] i love me sha gua. ben dan ai sha gua! <3 blehhs.

sickening.her prepaid card dun even hv a cent.anythg just called her house.anytime also can.
muhahas.yst night.if she had know she wldnt had meet that person.
she meet that per so he can teach me math.yeah.shedid learn abit from him.
but that kind of "errie" "insecurity" come back.
she dont know why.then after that he ask her loads of wried Questions.
wahhs.her mind was only whirl with xiaoquan's owner. sha gua.how she wish he was there.by her side.
whatever he ask,her mind was only sha gua.
but nvm.and then she went back to lot one.know what?she lost my EZ link card again.it's so horrible.
she lost it the wk before last wk,and she make a new one last wk,top up bus consession yst.yst night lost again.
ths morn she got to walk to sch,and then noon walk back home.OMG! her legs are tiring and it hurt loads.
in class she nearly fall down while standing up.Uhs!so sickening.
Well.she nearly become Ms petra last few days,im glad that mr narain he played the movie,so she dun hv to act as petra.but todae lit lesson, at 3 plus he told us to form in gp, and then choose one act and scence to act or play with.and then today he asked her what's share?she told him it's jsut somethign to do with investment.then he heard wrongly,he thought she said something like share food.PLs. no.and he made a joke out of it.sorry.again it's so sickening.but nvm.just act.wont kill.no harm anyway.hahas.
math test todae.alrigth~eqaulity?alright~okiies~.
no comment.at least she did pratice yst and know how to do some of it.hahas.
yea.perhaps she can pass.though she revise it yst,but she got no confidence.
again,it's so sickeing.
seems day this whole day and yst was really that sickening tht she just cant stop typing the word sickening.
well.
Tomorrow weaing kebaya.sorry not sure of how to spell.hehes.OHS.i wont walk pass their class der.cuz it's embarassing.hopefully she look smart or nice in that suit tml.
*yawn* it's tiring.feel sleepy and sicked.
Heard from her friend that he's wearing a cap,guess it's billabong derr.
wondering how h e look like with a cap on?
must be look smrt or cute with it,ehs? =X
hahas.her mind is still whirl with sha gua,she guessed.cuz today she saw 2 or3 per at diff time and places,she thought is him.then when she's outside the school bus stop, she heard someone calling his name.perhaps is illusion.she thinks too much lerr bahhs.hahas.
need to study for chi so call the compo.teacher will give 3 topics.got to read through the newspaper for more info.it sickening.and then todae dun know take whatever MOE's survey.it seems to be repeating the Question such as,do u love you school? do u find ur school enjoyable? LOLS.
cant find jessline.cant find yuko.amalina is not allow to come out.saw chiu cant come out at this time.
OHs~really really sickening.
but she seems to smile a lot today in class?
Guess her mind is corrupted.
muhahas.she's hungry,uhs cant find anything to eat.trying to contact jessline and yuko too.
hahas.

[[Dear.this few days keep raining.must take care horrs.dun tell me u hvnt recoever from ur sick yet.hahas.Monday might got breakfast for you.if u dun wish to eat it,pls horrs,dun leave it under ur desk,wait got foul smell,then i know uhhs.cuz prelium.i dun you to take the prelium with your empty stomache.hehes.rmb rest well.sleep early leiis.dun overworked.aiyas.my darling so smart sure can do it der.rmb when i go css u told me wad?BIY marrs.hahas.i believe you can do it der.jia you.blehhs.u must be look smart or cute with that cap on.hahas]]

PERHAPS GONA BE THE LAST WEEK.
will he help her pull thr this last week?
AFTER THAT WHAT'S HER LIFE GONA BE?
SHE'S JUST WANT TO LIVE HER LIFE TO THE FULLEST.

toopid.offline oso dun know how to dae bye
mei li mao!
blehhs.
hahas.

mon.she might making breakfast for him and her.
yeah~.hahas.cuz prelim.dun wish that he will go with empty stomache.
breakfast is the key.muahhas.
todae late. serve detention at!
memorable date.hahas.but todae i saw smth in the noon which i shdnt have seen at all.
im thinking shd i throw or let that per throw him or herself.
well.i shall pretent i know nth.let it be.al least there's another thg which cheer me up todae,and bring a smile on my face.which is during recess time in the library =)
i wore a yellow shirt.well.nt gona care how ppl think.i wear for the sake of myself but not others.
beside they are not totally part of life.bother so much for??
muhaahs.my blue shirt still at juan's friend there.hehes.
Rushing of time.so this post willl be continued =X
but before that.

Read this,it's all her words.might be loads of grammer error down there.
but all those are the words form her bottom of the heart.

I dont want to be your princess,
I just want to be happiness

I dont need a fairytale to make my life perfect,
because i already had you to shine up my whole world.

Tick tock,
once it's struck 12 midnight.
i know, i know you wont let off ur hand,u would hold my hand till the enternity.
so do i.

I dont need a white horse,
or any pair of galss slipper,
because u'd alr step inside my heart.

There wont be aother door opening awaiting for anyone
to be my next happiness,
because u're alr irreplaceable.

I dont need a key to open the lock of my heart,
because u are alr locked inside my heart.
if there's a day you wish to leava,
knock on it,and there' ll be rainbow bridge sending you off.

But i believe that as long as you love me still,you wont leave me.
Defenitely, i do have faith in you.

I dont need any of your promises till the end.
because i believe that ur lvoe for me is infinity.
and so do i, i love you.


bauiis.gtg.to be continued =)


[[Darling,next week prelim lerr,jia you! if u are still bothering abt ur hair cut,dun care lerr larr.u like that oso very cute hahas.real cute.not "cute".blehhs. drk more water,rmb to eat. and rest well.prelim coming,dun overstress or overwork untill u are sick,alright?i will xim tia derr.hahs.see my dalring sick of os will xim tia larr.blehhs.okies.tc loads uhs.i love you =) ]]

[[Sorry again due to some technical fauly,got to post together with the previouly one.]]
17.07.07__

Yesterday im was late for school.
uhs.know why?because early in the morning my leg cant stand.walk up at about 8 plus,and got my mum's nagging,it was like so irrated.imagine wake up early in the morning got nag and nag.i cant stand it anymore so i just took a bath and went to school,before that she knw i lend my money which was supposingly use for topping up concession to a friend.she got more fed up,blaming on me,saying that i keep taking coins from my ah ma,i took a total of 10 plus bucks.it's so sickening.seems that i want all these to happen.then she sais she gona deduct my pocket money alright~ mum~.do u know that's quite sickening?alright i doubt she know too.adult thought is always thoughts.parent are 4eva parent.
Then i set off the school.the security want me to go to the general office,i was like okaies~ i dun feel like going in the first place,but to play safe,i went in and get a latecomer form.well,glad that mr narian is not there if not he's gona to call my parents up again,then end up when i got home i got nag again.again that's really indeed sickening.can u imagine that?NAg day and Night.
After that i went back to class,it was mdm lim class,t hey were revising their test.
i know there's a dae but forgotten that it was on that day,so i borrow the spelling wksht from wendy,last min job!hopefully i pass.initially i though teacher had alr pass down the test paper,so i went up to her and told her i hvnt got it.then she said she hvnt pass down any paper yet.shit!it was so~ embarassing.i apologize then i went back to my seat,and that girl over there was being scarsctic.pls manns.
what's got with her me being late or blur,beside i dun thk i had offend her in anyways.well.not gona bother about her,a waste of my time only.
"RING!"Finally 2pm.meet vivies,we went to bugis.and she bought a necklace,heart shape der!it's shooo nice.the aunty gave her discount.so good.so tempting,i can only see her buy and wear, i cant get it for myself.she was like very happy,and kept taking in and out to take a look.hahasbut nvm i got one cherry derr.to me,it's worthless price.muahahs.went home at abt 5 plus.i reach hm at abt 6 plus.
chg and went to plaza with amalina to study.okies i did abit of revision.on my math.INEUALITY.
that's great.im hving a test on that topic on wed.again,sorry to say that it was sickening.8 plus , saw Jack.then saw him coming in,okies.i admit im a bit badi cant stop myself from laughing.
well.hmm.how i wish he went to bangkit and cut his hair.alright.see,lazy bum.hahas.end up got to go and and wear a hat,uhs?Not my prob.it's mr narain,and HE's NOT MINE. puke*.lols.
Later on went back home at 10 plus,chat with vivies.uhs.
alright sorry vivies that if not for me my friend wldnt had call u for my whereabouts.then we chat.talk abit abt the past which upset her and me as well.then i hang the phone cuz i need to call someone.blehhs.dun want tell her,keep on asking her to guess.hahs.she was like keep guessing and end up dun want to guess anymore and she was like okiies~.expect to receive her sms at 12 plus.but didnt gues sshe fall asleep ler.expect to recieve her msg todae noon,bbut she didnt thk her prepaid no moneys.

Todae.went to school
my god sorry. didnt expect u wuill rmb to bring the phone.i collect i t another day,will it do?
just not todae alright sorry.okies.just mention got a test yst yea?for chinese.and i did pass.i got 75 put of 100.nice job.i expect a jsut pass or fail badly.todae chemi got one more test.yst i was late for sch so i didnt take.beside i didnt even know there's a chemi test yst,perhaps it was annoce on last week,but i didnt come.luckily i know how to do.miracle.first time knwing how to do chemistry worrs!
hehes.yeah~ later on went to plaza meet jesslie to study.but meet vivies first.
hahas...

[[Darling,sorry yst disturb u doing ur work.anyways dun worry,ur haircut veru cute will growl ong very fast er.i wont stop loving u or xian qi u jusr for the sake of haircut der lar.hahas.ppl sae i like negg then gib ppl sae lor.i now u not can ler.ehhs.thanks for letting me confidning in u.u are a miracle.ur word i can listen in and feel beta even after thanks.i love you =) ]]


MS JESS WAN DAN LER!

TOOPID AH JESS

is SAVE not SEND!

kuku larr u!Miss Sotong Jess.

beside,ms jess preapid shd not be able to send out any msg,why can it be send suddenly?!
toopid network.damn.gona complain to starhub.make her so malu
it's incredible!uhs.enough of this topic.forget abt it.the thought of it made her thnks that heaven pranks on her.able to send out such msg at this time.this moment.when the system dun allow.
chg topic liao lar!is malu der lorr~

A girl,who sing and dance.
walk and run like mad.
love to ton at cities with her good friends and him.
plays piano.okies.a little bit.not much of a pro.
a girl who is active loves to jump here and there.
run here and there.
love shopping going to town and cities.
run to every corner of the the beautiful places and took a pic.
A girl,who is waiting for a date with him.
a girl who hv a dream.of being a Dj or enter the course tourism and hotel managment
A girl who loves to bake and went to the beach.
Now,after all these.will she still be able to do so?
will she?
just what's her future will be?

Though she's stress but she's somehow alr abit distress due to some thg.
alright.she understand her friend thoughts and feeling.but sometime she's too kuku.her reply back to her friends make them thinks that she dun understand.in fact she really do alright.
perhaps she's really a stupid girl.a kuku girl.
well.she feel like not bothering them anymore.she wana walk away.
she feel like,after the movie aft passing her the card after retuning them the money,after returning all thigs and just walk awayshe walk away.
let it be the last week or so.not gona bother them,or even contact them.not gona.
her leg's getting worst each day,but she put on a strong front.
it simply feels terrible.she may not be gona bother them anymore,untill a certain time.she knows when she shd contact them again.
she didnt tell them.cuz still condsiderating and she know cant let go,as in she cant bear.well.
from now onwards,in class no matter how bad or no matter she need how long to took to stand up everyday aft sch,she'd not gona call for help,cuz she dun wish to troub them or even add burdern to them.she will try on her on.unless she's DAMN SICK.
sch?perhaps.nope.not gona see her appear in sch anymore?maybe.
not sure.everything will be set provided that she had made that plan of her life.
Will she be lame?she hvnt went to the emengecy consultant yet.but what will the doc gona sae during her check up?
can she still walk and run like mad?can she still dance and sing?can she or is she still stay outside throughout the night with him and her friends after their O?confirm going to prom night.but on that night will she appear?
does she still hv the chance to wear her dress.if he's going,does she hv the chance to see her charming prince look.if they are bk tgt,does she hv the chance toattend prom night with him?
her DJ or Tourism management dream.will it fly away?
will she be able to pass her TT ?is she able to get all As and won over her dad's 70 bucks?
will she?
So just what her furture will be like?

[[Darling,sry for the msg.bu shi gu yi der.believe or not up to you.todaes rain.i bet u are still sick bahhs.hahas.got overwrk mahhs?hahs.todae call u u sounded tired.guess u watch harry potter lerr bahhs.nice?hahs.i gona watch soon.hahas.depends narr.hahas.yeah.u sounded tired todae.drink more water and rest well horrs.hahas.tml Mon,got sch.Da qi jing sheng lai hao mar?i wana see the full of energetic the darling.hahas.U wu shong marr.hahas.hv enough sleep,dun stay up too late,ehs?hehes.take care.ashiteru.]]


Trying to stay gaiety,
every min and every sec.


Though she's stress.
but she's somehow distress.
thanks for her darling's hug =)
his hug was like a miracle?
hahas.

THIS BLOG HAS BEEN EDITED.
[[YESTERDAY&TODAY]]
Due to technical prob,that's why i didnt create other post]]

12/07/07___
Uhs.sickening day.
english class,she let that girl scold her CB.
pls manns.if she know that mdm chai would go to her initailly she wont go to mdm chai first
how can she sae that she cut Q?
OBJECTION! then that girl stare at her.
she feel like stating at her too,and just poke her eyes out.
but she didnt.she bear alright!
well,dun wish to fight with those childish ppl.a wate of her time and energy only.
Time waits for no man,rmb?so dun waste time on such things.muahahs.
Alright.during recess time,she went to the library,before that she took money from drea.
hey.ps drea.she dun want to take all at a time cuz she knew she will spend it all.by then time she hv no money left for her concession.
Alright nvm,went to library,they seat on the the other table.
hoping they will come.but they didnt.on the hand,as she expected.
then what's up?they leave,she knows.she was trying to sae bye,but seems that he was like sort of pretend he didnt see her or so,she GUESS.as she said it seems like.
she didnt care less then.Uhs.great.
A math lesson,her heart was somewhere else,she's not attentive in class at all.
teacher asked her Q,she was like "huh"?Firstly,ppl she got or even show no interest in A math,put that aside.wad worst is,
she hardly pass her A math test.she feel like droping that subject,but she cant brought that up to teacher.
cuz heard from them that his father just pass away,and he told the whole class how busy is he,he say now he seems to do everything like the damily days all stuff.she's afraid that if she brought this up,teacher might get even stress up.okies~alright she will try to buck up her A math alright.
her leg,started.muscle went stiff.
abit shaky.lucky that her hand didnt shake.if not she was like dont know what to do next.
she tried to call drea,but drea cant.drea got impt thg,she didnt blame drea,she understand.
she pick up her couarge to call him.alright.called.
but didnt succeed.uh huhs.she called him at 4 again,telling him she was in class,
she thought she heard it,she was hoping for a sms from him at least telling her where is he or is he is available,but he didnt.so shw waited till 4.30.
she leave sch t abt going 5.she force herself to stand up and move.
she keep forcing herself.she tried.in the end she succed.glad that she's able to walk again.
later on then she found out,ohs,so is the network prob that causes him didnt get to hear what she going to sae
alright~.he told her if cant get home still,contact him
she was like ohs.okiies~
but she manage to force herself to walk bahhs.so it's alright.
went to lot one,saw drea! =)
they went home tgt.phewluckily drea was there.thanks drea! hahas.
uh huhs.she's gona to go out with amalina to study later on.
yeah~Must study!!!
hahas.she shall stop here.need to chg alright.
and went out to study! =)

Lastly,UHS, so hungry.
only took bread and nth else.no money.
it had been so long since i did hv a proper meal.

[[Darling, thanks for ur concern =),i appreciate it loads.i didnt mean to sae u're crazy when u got the intention to send me home.is just that i dun wish to disturb u being with ur friends,and dun wish to waste ur time.
just to send me home,as you know,u can use that time to study or with ur friend derr.hahas.btw how's ur sickness?sorry to sae sickness so nan ting,i dun know is u flu or what marr.hahas.yao kuai dian hao qi lai leiis.1 more week prelim ler.must bick up,must jia you,most importantly.must take good care of ur health horr.haiis.zhe ge da sha gua dun know how to tc urself der.so must nag nag and nag.hahas.KUAI DIAN HAO QI LAI!thanks loads darling for today,i will really appreciate it.wei!got it?i dun mean to sae u are crazy or so der,is for ur sake that's why i didnt call you der.but in the end i still manage to walk,ehs?hahas.JIA YOU for ur prelim.rmb TAKE GOOD CARE OF UR HEALTH horrs.darling i miss ur aixin breakfast,lunch and dinner =) ]]

uhs.
im so call wear out?
yeah.before i start my todae's journal.
i would like to sae thanks to the xiao whoever der.
well, u got it wrong.congrats, u shd get 100.
uh huhs.actaully those u get it right are right,those u got it wrong are right too.
hahs.is use to trick ppl der.blehhs. =P
so anyone, before taking my true friendship test,hahas.ask me.dun get trick worrs.
motive for tricking ppl is just to see how well they know me.
hahas.
teacher put a top scorer beside me.
saying if i didnt buck up must ask her to buck me
omg.mdm chin! i shall prove it to you what i got.blehhs.
i will a b4 3 or A2 for ur E math to see.
u shall see.
i will.and defenitely i will!
todaes loads of happening.
damn sickening,didnt bring thermo got to buy.
end up spent my only 2 bucks.
im broke alright.okies.he sat beside me.
okies~ not tht not happy,anyway aiyas..is dman glad.alright. =P
lols.he gave me two bucks.i dun want.hahs.he need it for himself too.
i knw u are rich alright,boy.
but save it.just in case.
i dun want u ltr like last time like that,initiatlly got few cent donate away,later on regret,
telling me that few cent can do for some other things too.
i hv diff in walking,guess is the two bucks then he "angry" with me?
lols.anyway i know he is XIAO bu,not xiao qi narrs.hahas.
soon he will be alright.
u're sick?OMG. u alright?
uhhs.thought can run during PE lesson,but rain! =_=
my gfs alots of things happen to them.
im guilty.i cant be there for them when they need me sometime.
im alr trying my best alr,alright?
im just simply too blur or abit of fan uhhs.
im really sorry.and vivies sorry,i forget i had a meeting with you at 4 outside sch maingate.
im blur this few days.BLUR QUEEN as you know.
hahs.im sick too.damn.when taking temp no fever,after that then have fever.
my legs were terrible todae.wad duh hell.as daes goes by.it went worst.
i bear.take it as i know nothing.hahas.

I simply loves todae phy class.
Mr lau was chilish?cute?
hahas.he tried the magnet experiment that he said he nv tried before.
he stoke the magnet on the metal ruler ten times,and the paper clip attract to the ruler.
he was like "EH!really can leiis!"
we werer like lol all the way.hahas
he told us he nv treied before,but he know sure work.
nExt when the magent drop on the floor it canattract the other magent aymore,
he tried dropping it again,it attach!
he was liek "ehs!can leiis!"
then he tried dropping it again
ahahs.he was cute!
and the phy calss was fun though i didnt really pay much attentive.hahs.

hehes.went to lot one with drea.
we were like mad.
hahhas.i sort her...pika!
hahas.
she was like LOL till she cant take it.
well.she asked me if that guy came forward and took number for me,will i give?
i told her "NO! my darling inside my heart,rmb?"
hahas.next her scary dare!
dare me to shout from the top till the basement there.
for those who were on esclator to hear.
she want me to shout "YOungquan where're you"
i was like -_-"
i told her wait later he really walk pass, and then he malu or the most he dont answer
but i got malu the most only marr.or wait he got fed up im gona blame her
lols.
then she was like ok~ end up telling me she find it malu too,so cancel that stupid and scary dare of hers!wad duhh hell.LOLS.
hahahs

im tired.[[ not about him ,is other personal stuff! dun mistaken =)]]
hahas.can i go that path ?
which is another life plan?
so i will know nothing
so i can dun bother anymore
so i can totally hands off?
can i ?
im smile most of the time todae.and i dun know why.
it's good.but i know it's not true smiling.
hahs.anyway my morning was brighten up my him,perhaps that gave me a smile from the start of the dae.
but thinking of ~ that yuckiies feeling is still there!so thats the feeling of jealous.
i hate jealous feeling.it just simply feel so yuckiies larr.
i need my ripple strawberry ICE CREAM!or any CHOCOLATE. pls manns~
got more to type derr.but to be continue uhs.hahas.
cuz gg JOG with saw chiu dear now ler.muhahas.
tml got night study with friend.yeah!

okies finally got to meet her.we seems to hv endless words.hahs
we didnt run.too late ler.instead we walk the new express road which link to BB.hahs
her dear alled her.i went distur.hahsa.
so envy! then i was like took out my phone play along, and said "hello darling uhhs where're you"
hahs.play with her derr narr.on my way i saw a cat!
my god.scary mighty cat!
i walk another way instead,how i wish he were there.
hahas.lucky the cat didnt chase me.
it was like OMG~
went home and ate my harshbrown!

[[Darling,u're sick?u alright? how i wish i could cook porridge for you again but i know u wont want.unless u tell me u want it.i can.lols. or you know.consult a doc?u sure tell me no need der.u are wu shong~,ehs?-_-".u kuku manns.da sha gua uhhs.but if got med must consume it lehhs.alr expected u will get sick ler.hahas.prelium and Os coming.must take good care of ur health.ur studies improving lerr.must jia you more.i know my darling very smart derr,ehs?OPS.forget cant kua you,later u ~.lols.jkjk.perhaps you will hv breakfast for every prelium morn.i dun wana u empty stomcahe go tk exam,not mafan,cuz u sun bian making for ur mum or even myself too.hahas.remember,sleep early.dun lei huai.kuai dian hao qi lai worrs!wo hui dan xin der!may god bless that my darling recover faster.hahs.i miss talking to u on phone.dun lei huai lerr.i will miss you =)]]

still thinking if i shd go on with the next plan of my life?
i know my friends and him,alright perhaps not him
is my gfs will not like it or perhaps will even hate me to the core,and find me stupid though it dont really totally concern them.
only she herself.
she miss his hug
she's stress. only her hug can help her distress
but 4 mths thgs.
therefore she know for the time being it 'll happen only in her dream,
perhaps not even in her dream.she hving nightmare these few nights.so cant possibly in her dreams.hahas.
haiis.
can she try taking a puff?

todae didnt went to sch.
because early in the morning i found that my leg couldnt move at all.
so i didnt go to school
but at 9 or 10 plus,it started to reagian it energy
hey heys~ SI BU LIAO de lar
hahas.
uhmm.hungry!but nth for me to eat
at 5 gona meet vivies still.ohS.
7 meet amalina for studies.
I must study,thourgh train manns.i cant afford to fail or retain
im counting down to the day whereby i can garaduate
if i retain,im will go mad manns.

Yesterday.
pathetic day uhhs.
went to drea house.wad duh.loads of happenings.
i guess drea need a break too,so we went off first.
Night we went to plaza,uhm.mac.
saw him and one of ours friend.yeah~HIes.
hahas.is not that i dun wish to sae bye to her,is i cant brought up myself.
uh huhs.hopefully they understand.
Inside mac,i told vivies.wei.make sure he cant see me.
let him study.i keep thinkning to myself, like the dragon in the legend of the sea "he cant see me" "he cant see me"
LOLS.alright i know that was stupid.
but in the end,he stil saw us and came over,uh huhs.
of cos welcome nar,if not take a sweep and chase him off mehhs.
lols.i dun wish and dun want to either.,and cant bear too.
is only the the minute i thought of the thg i shdnt hv see,that kind of yuckies feeling come back a bit again.LOLS.
alright.dun bother about that.he played "BIA AI WO" by vivian and made my vivies cry
BAD BOY!hahas.but we know he didnt mean it.i wana cry too.but i didnt
in fact this few days i alr few like crying,but i didnt.promise ppl cant cry,then cant cry.
blehhs.
and wait wait wait.we didnt sae or mean we dont like his FAV OURTIE VIVIAN HSU alright.
so malu.wana comfort vivies,and then i bump the table.OMG~
later on he went off lerr.hmm.soon,vivies went off too.
on my way home, i thought,
haiis wad dae isit manns.
ppl crying all over the place in my life.
us,my friend cried, i know i cant cri,i got to stay strong and cheer my friend up.
hahas.JIA YOU!

[[darling,ur singing touched me,though i dun deny the fact that i got some fears for that song.but u sang with feel and em0,hahs really nice.im loving it.but i miss ur lullaby song,"rock a by baby on the tree top~~".hahas.
wei weiwei.nobody sae dun like viviao hsu.ur idol who dares to sae anythg,blehhs]]




she's hiding her grief
only his hug can help her distress.
but she know he wont hug her ever again
SHE MISS HIS HUG

She Not That sImple as you thInk
She's neitTHer CompliCAted
Know Her and You WiLl KNow.

Miss JeSsiE

HEr name,JessIE.TingWei
She simply loves her name.
[xiAoWei] reserved!dun u dare to call her that,except for someone


JESS is her beloved name =D though she's 16 but she still play and fool around But she can be mature in her thoughts. She loves LOLIPOP CHOCOLATE and CUTE STUFF yea. yea. she's STUBBORN like an ox.CAT is mighy scary to her X( glad that. there's always a him to protect her awats from the MIGHTY SCARY CAT on her way on , learning to be more OPTIMISTIC and stay GAIETY
HerrADORES <3
HIM <3 -My beloved ones.who is there for him to lend me a shoulder whenever i cried, hug me when i need comfort.a great guy who's able to tolerate my att and characters. might feel tired at times,but i know he do care and concern for me. when im in thy wrong he defenitely correct me.A great boy by my side who had never fail to turn my tears into droplets of smiling facees with his full of craps and lame jokes. he's my WUSONG.woots.whenever i see a mighty scary cat from far away.i will run away.if he's around. i got no worries.becuse.i know that he will protect me away from thy might scary cat. His actions and words defenitely melted my heart.he do shine on me =D

SawChiU. -A bossom friend who had been by my side for 7 yrs plus ahem. im annoying at times.she tolerate all.and truly accept for who i am as her friends.she do DIY stuff for me whenever i wana cry, she defenitely will make me high and laugh all fun days. with her superbly lame stuffs and joke. my day with her make feel more brighten up than ever =D

QianTing. -A good listener.it feel simply great to share joy and laughter with her when putting up at her house.a good friend indeed to be with.who had plan my most memorable 16 birthday. though we do have conflict at times. but sometimes i defenitely do know that she meant well for me. she lend me her helping hands when i do need it =D HERr TEST. =)

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