I only love hIm

Friday, September 22, 2006 ; 6:08 PM?

Baby , i love you so.

*yawn*
morning.today going tuhh out to work later.
hahs.my last week lerr
then can go for exam lerr
yst i made it!!but the expression seems so diff.am i thinkning too much??am i too sensitive??but at least i know what to buy ler.monday go confirm with that person,if that person really want that i would buy man
lols.

yst go recess with xt.well.everything go smoothly,except she cant seat together with weiying they all.i feel so bad.
i seems like making them seperate.
hope that monday we can seat TOGETHER.
hahs.

hmm..
haiis..yst
lock in the cubicle.
listen to song,cry again
hey what's gotten into me,
recently i seems to have become a cry bun.
i just hate myself for bieng that.
but i cant control myself
yst one of my friend she sob too,
her friends went in and comfort her,while im still alone in the cubicle,should i sae i envy or jealous her?
when smth happen tuhh them one of the another w0uld go find them,and comfort them if they cry.but for me.no it seems that i still hv tuhh wait for such a long way before i can have it.though i really dont like what am i in now,but i will still preserve and endure the feeling of emptyness,
i dont know when will it filled up but i will wait.i guess its soon,cuz i met a very good friend cum sis,who is willing to be there to help me,dont want mention name,wait she paiiseh again.
hahas.
Really sad...
hope my heart can be filled up faster..
ok.gtg tuhh prepare to go work lerr.hehe

Thursday, September 21, 2006 ; 3:49 AM?

Baby , i love you so.

today's 21 of sept,ehhs??
ok,im here tuhh blog
yst the way he treat her,he beat her,he kick her,he throw things at her.
why?perhaps this time round she's really at fault??she's really made him blow up of the top??i dont know.
but strange is,in the past when he use to treat her in this way,she got very fed up,she will vent her angers by all means,exluded hurting anyone...hahas.but for yst,she did not,she let him d0 it,why ler??
she thought...hmm..she thinks that since no one is willing tuhh accept her,whenever she want to stand up for herself no one is willing tuhh hear her out,let alone him.just let him do then.perhaps she feels that she had dead,she dont know what makes her goes on living,just happen by,today she recieve a call from him,asking is she alright,cuz smth had happen.she suddenly feel so touch.she's wondering why?why would he want to treat her like yst,and today in a different way.hahas..
can u think of why??perhaps this can happen to be shot into a movie which had good ending and you will got touch in the end??

The end.

well,above those are craps,let ingored.
today same old me,got mo0dless again
hey wads got into me?
today we have physics remidial,i have untill 5.45 or so?
yup.My teacher g0 through the ws with me till half way,i told him to stop at that part cuz im too tired to absorb more,2 hr and more of physic remidial.oh my god.but i understand is the sake of my own good ba.
After the remidial he ask me something about my eprsonal school life,well i dont mind telling him and my plan.
he listen lerr.also have no much solution cuz it seems that evertyhing its so complicated.My jie they all had not come out with any solution yet.if thats the case,why not i make my own solution?but my xueting told me no,she told me not to go back to the past,she said im not gona tuhh go back,yea.i admit i dun wish t0 go to backyard every recess,eat alone and so on.but it seems that im left with no choice,yeah..i belive thats nothing is impossible,but for this case i had started tuhh lose confidence for it, every now and then im pending f0r a miracle.haiix..
yup..im very relactuant to be back in this way,but cuz of my exsistance i had brought so much inconvienient and troubles to those who want to help me,i might feel awakard.
really.but there aint any m0oe soltion when it had came to this state,the only thing can do now is let nature take it costs ler.i dont want,dont wish to also left with no choice.

i had started to lose myself
the confidence me,the patience me,the strong me,seems to fade away slowly.i dont want.no i must endure
i had been wearing masks for almost every day,im tired of it,i want took off.
i want to be back my MISS HILLARIOUS JESS.
i want to be back myself.
i DONT WANT to wear any more mask.
cuz it's sickening.
DAMN SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i wanted to pick up myself again and be strong,yeah.im trying now,but it had started to fade awayu.From a hilarious jess,de-promoted to lonly jess.what the heck is this man?

i kept believe i could see the rainbow after the rain,till now im still beliving t0 it.i hope.i really hope.that everything would be like a summer day.please,as long as my srtongness had not fade away completely,im able to stand up again after each fall,please...i want to see the rainbow soon.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006 ; 5:58 AM?

Baby , i love you so.

im here tuhh blog again.
thankiew u girls for the warming cares.hehex.

today marr.
a math test...sure kana fail.
chemi and geo hvnt take yet.
wad duhh..
just now walk home with peilin jie,the jie fu kept wana know wad happen,aiya on the acc of we are friend for yrs,though not very clsoe,tell him lor.
hehex.

todae im quite moodless too.
cuz as usual,im alone,
wana tuhh try walk around the class,but it seems so difficult
why??becuase she was there,obviously i had scared myself in order tuh make a peace..
in hall too...seating beside my friend valarie..they werr beside me and they were like dont wana seat close,again for the sake of them and don want the whole class tuhh get scolded,i scared myself too.
im always scaring myself away...beside stress in test,
need tuhh revised...but it seems that i slacking.no i must not i must work hard.
For now and then im tryng to treasure all the friendship i had...
i dont want hist0ry tuhh be brought up again.it' terrible...
haiix.i also not sure of what to say and do,except for study.

Also,im sick and tired.
i kept wearing a mask tuh the school..it's shooooooo...sickening!!!!!!!!!
may i wear off that mask??
it feels so terrible.
but i knew i cant.cuz once i wear off,
all the ppl around me will start running away fr0m me.
cuz wherever i go,i will had a black face,no smile,and very dao.
i will become in this state cuz of all the happening stuffs.
Now and then im trying tuhh be back myself...Which is the MIss hillariousjess...and...also once im myself,that mask will naturally wear off.Hope i can.

NOw my job is to study,get good acdemin results,please my parents well,make them happy,then follow by trying tuhh be back myself,so that i w0nt be living till so sick and tired,stuggling or so,ehs??yupp..hehex.and of course try to interact and warmth up with my friends faster hope i can do it.of course i wont neglected those are behing my back,supporting me,and comforting me...ppl like qianting,xueting,jolene,and so on ba..hahs

i shall end here ler.
hope my day can be brighten up again.
i belive that day will come,provided that i must try all my best and be patience.
taKe care!!! gd night...

Sunday, September 17, 2006 ; 10:34 PM?

Baby , i love you so.

i had blog for quite a few days
perhaps today i shall post a long one??

After my OBS,i came back to S'pore and for the past few days
my mind is still there,especailly the kayaking,not only i learnt about what can life be,but i got my miracles from there to0.i really miss those days.
it seems that every morning when i wake up, i can see you,u talk to me in a friendly manner for that one time,but i got mood swing,thats why i wld shout back,im s0rry.Everything about our happening is there was like a dream
Also i remeber something still.
staright away after my obs,obstacles came.
these sentences kepy repeat in my mind too, "i find that you chg alot,is ur chges which made me dislike you"well,i know what makes me change,but now i just feel that u had gone back to the jess which she or he knows.
i just want to say about this is that "i did not blame you, if i were in your shoes i might feel the same way too.No one is to blame,except me,so u did not hurt me much,all the pain and hurt is me,who brought it to myself.Perhaps now we really had to use time and let nature take it cost to resolved the situation for what we are in now.i saw u sobbing last fri,hope ur alright now.take care,my friend."

Then another sentence kept repeating in my mind "whenever you face any challenge,nv back out,but face it squarely"yup..
that words meant alot to me.Because my present life was like a traffc ligh,red man light seems to be more than a green man light.i keep falling dpwn,but every moment i had fall down,i would stand up again,but every step i stand up again,not even 3 steps i would fell down again.and then i stand up and so on again.well...its quite pain,but i dont mind i kepy trying.
Recently i had become a useless bum,a cry bun.My god.after sch or during sch,i wld cry alone mylsef in a corner.sometime im thinkning why those ppl around me,they have friend for them when they need them,they have accompanyment,when they cried friend would go around hugging em,to give them more comfort and let them feel more bettere,but why not me.
perhaps i use to have,but again as i said before it was all my sensitiveness which brought me into these states.well...
the feeling i had now,nobody can understand,im gald that my my class's friend can accept me,but i will still feel ___ something. i dont know what word to use so i out ___.Yup they do accept me,but the feeling for me is like im just a passerby seating with a gp of person.they had been friends for yrs,sure they had lots of things to share about,and with me around of course there's lot of things which made them inconvienient to talk or to do.Sometimes that long bench,suppose to ouccpuy 4 or more person,but sometime i took the same bench as some of the girl in the same click took,those other grl who were under the same click too was late,and it become when the same click wana seat together,the cant,they got to seperate,cuz it's all occpied all the seat is dirty.then i was thinkning,perhaps if i did not seat there,they mught had been seating t0gether.
In class,im all alone,i wana to walk around and talk with ppl but it's hard,cuz they are seating by clicks and discusing or sharing their own prob.Actaully i should have my own click but now dont.for those who know me will know why isit so.And beside now im still pending to get back that click.tehre shsd be 2 clicks im suppose to be in with,and share laughter or joy together.but everything turns upside down.therefore as i said im still pending for it.cuz that;s the most memorable friendship i ever had in my life.
Now a days after school, as usual i will walk home.i use to walk with a good friend,but now no.it seems that im walking the path all alone,by myself.that applies the same to the other things in my life too.
i feel that my heart is just only like a empty shell,nothing fills me up,
no one would unerstand that kind of feeling,unless that had been through it before.
Up till im still trying my best,trying to endure and preserve.
as i believe that no one's life would forever filled with pain and sorrow,there's still happiness and fortunate awaits for us,including me.
but i just hope that i wont have to lead such a life like now,hoping that there's a miracle to it.im sure there will,and im sure my life will truns better as each days goes by.

I wanted to thankiew xue ting...
thankiew for helpping me,and dont mind me being a naggy.
hahas..really thanka alot..
love yarr lott.hehex.. bleahx :P

Today i didnt go to school,cuz im sick.
hope that it can recover soon,cause i need to prepare for my EOY.
i dont wish to stay in the old block,i wanted to start afresh,i wanted to get into the new block!!!So..i must do well for every of my subject.
due to my mid year result,i had set a target to past at least 4 or5 subs,including my english and maths.Go for It!!!

Recalling***
weekends,working as a promoter in the Big Bargains..
well,it was fun,gain lots of expercience.really love it alot.
hehex...and on sat i reac home at 12 smth,i intend to sleep till 2am and then woke up to do my homework,but i overslept.i slept till 4 or 5 am,then i hurry woke up and complete all my hoke worek,went back to sleep,then woke up at 9.prepare to sset off to my wokring place again.hehex.
Yst i came back hurry study for my chemi test.
wows!!!now i finally know the feeling of working and studying at the same time.perhaps thats what i want?it can occpuied all my timing,and i wont let my imgination gone wild everytime,and become so much more sensitive.hehx.but next week is my last week of work ler...
cuz exam coming.hahas.

got to stop here,if i do have the time i would blog again,anyway it was indeed a quite long post.
take care and buaix.

Saturday, September 09, 2006 ; 2:19 AM?

Baby , i love you so.

im back.
OBS is tough but fun and meanigngul.
guess i should hv lots on things to say bahx.
hahas.
First day we reach there,we pack the st0re,
learnt how to pitch a tent,and outdoor cooking.
that's cool.U hv to apply toothpaste under the pot to prevent it from having black mark.
Second day,we do some high element.hmm..trust fall.
it was such a great fall!!! then we learnt how to kayak,and how to help each other when we had capsize.yo,capsize is fun.hahs
third day,we went for kayaking to the other part of pulau.13 km!!!7 1/2 hours!!wahh..sunBURN.duhh...but dun.
the strong wave,current everything.hahs.
then when we reach there.my got that island's toiliet is in bad condition.of cauze no choice but to undure,and its's open to us after 7/
so we have no choice,if we wana pee or shit do it in sea.
then we wash our utensls without any detergent and in the sea too!!can u imagine that?
Fourth day,we are to go back to pulau ubin lerr..
this time round we dont kayak back,but we hike back.
-_-" 8 km bahx,,walk for aroubd 5 to 6 hours or more bahx
carrying heavy bags.
hahs..finally when we reach,we were so happy.
hahs.On that same day,,there's miracles,wow all the guys suddenly so good,help out alots.of cause that makes our life easier.hahs.

In all,this is a meanuingful camp,it let us learnt about life,
how do we manage ourself when we are dirty,cant bath, sleepy and even hungry.and it shows us how to overcome obstacles,and in life there's always up and down.

Clayton:When u face any challenge,NEVER BACK OUT,face it squarely.

For sure i will remember that.
hahas.
thankiew OBS.
thankiew Clayton.
Thankiew Livingston.
Lastly LivingSton Roxs!!!

Sunday, September 03, 2006 ; 2:55 AM?

Baby , i love you so.

ops.spamper agaiin.
i think thet take my tagboard as their chatting room,well,just let them ne bahx.my time is precious i hv better things tuhh do than they do.

i need to revise my studies as i promise my mum that i will get top 10 for her for the EOY exam.lols.
how silly of me,tuhh go and promise her,haa,anyway last time i would promise her because she keep nagging at my MY results,it's the worst result i ever get.has.then if i got top 10 not only will stop her nagging but she will give me rewards,when actually i dun ought to get,because getting top 10 for them is a thing which i must try my best to do,they work hard and fork out money for me to go and study,in order to repay them back,i need to revise hard,study hard,pratice hard,and score well for my reuslt.
and i believe that they will be content,though they wont really express out by appearance,but through their action and deep in their heart, i understand that they will appreciate it and be content,beside they will feel proud of it,because they would know that at least they had a child who can score well in her academic result,and make them happy and feel proud of it.
Well,that feeling goes the same for the other parents,isnt it?
hahas.
And because i feel that im a failure in everything,regardless in friendships,teen's love,eldest and others.
i had thought through,i want to make my way out.
i want to walk out of the maze,i want to work hard and play hard,
most importantly,try all my very best to control my sensitiveness,and prevent it from arousing my heart.Beside,i want to make my life better in both family and friendships first.because i believe they they are my key to sucess of making my life to a better one.By then i hope that my life would be brighten up again,i believe that that day will come,i believe that i can do it!
I wont let any other ppl's rumours,gossip or any words,and even any incident which befall on me,to block my way to sucess or anything.
Even if i didnt sucess totally,i would not regret because i know that i had try all my best,and i even know that trhough out the road i will get to learnt something new.
However i still believe that no matter what,my life would brighten up one day,i dun expect to get the most beautiful sun ray to shine on me,i just expect a little brightness from the sunbright,which can at least brighten up my life a bit will do.i dont ask for a perfect,but i only ask for things which make me feel content.
Though now im in a corner of myself,but i believe in something of myself,i will love the sun for it shows me the brightness,yet i will endure the darkness for it shows me the star,which would actaully help me lead my way out and bring me to the brightening world slowly,bit by bit.And ohs..yeah..Patience and Time is also the key to there.
hahs

Next issue:
i cant waiit tuhh go forr the OBS!
omg.im thinkning what isit like.
im wondering how fun could it be
hmm...meeting valarie at 07.10am tml,
hahas.tonight got tuhh pack my things ready ler bahx.
hahs.

ok i shall end my post here ler.
take care lots.niight =)

Saturday, September 02, 2006 ; 3:53 AM?

Baby , i love you so.

long time never blog ler bah,maybe days?
forget ler.
hahs.
t0day went to buy solid fuel,it's hard to find man,
and it's quite X uhhs.hahs.
i went with saw chiu,at the end of the day, i manage to al least end our day with laughter,though we know that we are stillbothered by something.hehex.
Monday..coming..hahs..im so excited about it.
hehex.
i cant wait for the OBS camp to come.
hahas.hope to be in te same gp with the people i want.
hahas.
okies.i shall stop here ler.
take care.nights.

Friday, September 01, 2006 ; 1:05 AM?

Baby , i love you so.

Jessie, you're a Type 5 - The Experimenter

Friends, family, and colleagues probably appreciate your probing intelligence and open-minded approach to life. They're also apt to know that when they come to you with a problem, you can be counted on to give them a carefully considered answer based on keen observations. As an Experimenter, you're likely to be seen as a capable and competent individual with a visionary outlook.Being a member of this type puts you in good company. Renowned painter Georgia O'Keefe, with her reclusive nature and intense focus on her craft, and Albert Einstein, with his groundbreaking theorems and unprecedented view of the space-time continuum, were also Type 5s.This means that compared to the eight other Enneagram types, you have a strong sense of perception as well as a curious and innovative mind. In fact, like many Experimenters, you have a strong drive to understand how things work.

Miss JessY

She Not That sImple as you thInk
She's neitTHer ~~CompliCAted~~
Know Her and You WiLl KNow.

Miss JeSsiE

HEr name,JessIE.TingWei
She simply loves her name.
[xiAoWei] reserved!dun u dare to call her that,except for someone

JESS is her beloved name =D though she's 16 but she still play and fool around But she can be mature in her thoughts. She loves LOLIPOP CHOCOLATE and CUTE STUFF yea. yea. she's STUBBORN like an ox.CAT is mighy scary to her X( glad that. there's always a him to protect her awats from the MIGHTY SCARY CAT on her way on , learning to be more OPTIMISTIC and stay GAIETY
HerrADORES <3
HIM <3 -My beloved ones.who is there for him to lend me a shoulder whenever i cried, hug me when i need comfort.a great guy who's able to tolerate my att and characters. might feel tired at times,but i know he do care and concern for me. when im in thy wrong he defenitely correct me.A great boy by my side who had never fail to turn my tears into droplets of smiling facees with his full of craps and lame jokes. he's my WUSONG.woots.whenever i see a mighty scary cat from far away.i will run away.if he's around. i got no worries.becuse.i know that he will protect me away from thy might scary cat. His actions and words defenitely melted my heart.he do shine on me =D

SawChiU. -A bossom friend who had been by my side for 7 yrs plus ahem. im annoying at times.she tolerate all.and truly accept for who i am as her friends.she do DIY stuff for me whenever i wana cry, she defenitely will make me high and laugh all fun days. with her superbly lame stuffs and joke. my day with her make feel more brighten up than ever =D

QianTing. -A good listener.it feel simply great to share joy and laughter with her when putting up at her house.a good friend indeed to be with.who had plan my most memorable 16 birthday. though we do have conflict at times. but sometimes i defenitely do know that she meant well for me. she lend me her helping hands when i do need it =D HERr TEST. =)

Create your own Friend Test here

Herr words___ Y

She Wish to say this to him..
Baby, i love you so.
I didn’t mean it when I said
I didn’t love you so
I should have held on tight
I never should have let you go
I didn’t know nothing,
I was stupid, I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I couldn’t have fathomed
I would ever be without your love
Never imagined I’d be sitting
Here beside myself
Cause I didn’t know you
Cause I didn’t know me
But If I knew everything
Id never felt

The feeling that I’m feeling
Now that I don’t hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don’t have a choice
Oh what I wouldn’t give
To have you lying by my side
Right here cause baby

I can’t sleep at night
When you are on my mind
Bobby Womack’s on the radio
Singing to me “If You Think
You’re Lonely Now”
Wait a minute this is too deep
I gotta change the station
So I turn the dial tryin’ to catch a break
And then I hear Babyface
“I Only Think Of You” and
it’s breakin’ my heart
I’m tryin’ to keep it together
but I’m falling apart

I’m feeling all out of my element
Throwing things, crying tryin’
To figure out where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
Ain’t even half of what I’m feeling inside
I need you, need you back in my life baby

When you left I lost a part of me
Is this so hard to believe
Come back baby please 'cause We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean on
when times get rough
Who’s gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who’s gonna take your place There ain’t nobody better

DarliNg,please remember,
im always here for you
whatever at stake,
whereever you go,
im always here.
I will lend you my listening ear.
I will lend you my shoulders when time get rough on for you.br> I had always wana enter every corner of ur heart to tell you i love you,and know everything of yours.
Plsease do remember
im always here for you =)

I LOVE MY BOY
YOU WILL NEVER BE REPLACED! I WILL BE RIGHT HERE WAITING FORYOU.

??????Y

SinnoMemoro I and II had ended.
SinnoMemoro II story was a short and beautifull one
Every now and then She is pinning on for last part of SinnoMemoro story,
A last part which would be a long lasting and more beautful than ever.
Will She?
THE HAPPY MOMENTS

Cool Slideshows!

It might just a be a few pieces of pictures.But every piece of it, content with many hidden different unforgettable memories.

11 oct 2007
I wish upon the cherrish fairy
let him love him me once more
give me a chnace to love him right again
my life's a mess. i cant do without him.

She Needs a Smile =) Y

JournEyY

The Past Y

May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
May 2008
September 2011

My Songs Y

Every Single Song she wrote in here.is especially for someone.
XIANG AI DE YUE DING
Xiang Kan Ni
Que Zhi neng zai yi pang qiao qiao de kan
bu rang ni kan dao wo
mian de ni gan shang

dou shuo hao le
hai mei dao wo men de yue ding na tian
zhi hao zuo peng you

bu xiang zuo ni de peng you
dan ni you ni de li you
wo bu she de, dan you liang jie de shuo xia le
ni liu gei wo yi ge wei wan zheng de meng

wo de xing yi zhi bu ting de zai ku qi
ying wei wo zhi dao ni hai she ai wo de
suo yi wo yong ni de ai
lai liao wo de shang kou

wo ai ni,xiang yao zai ci he ni yi qi
suo yi wo xiang xing ni.
suo yi wo yuan yi deng.

wo de xin men yong yuan wei ni da kai
ci shi, ci ke,
wo hui zai zhe li, deng dai,qi dai.
ni hui dao wo sheng bian
zai ci tou jing ni de huai bao li

qing ji de
wo men xiang ai de yue ding.

Miss Jess,Her Life,Her Girlfriends.

they are da best . no one beats them i simply love them. thanks for being my friends =D =D =D

Tru Dating